eHarmony Thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009
eHarmony Thoughts?
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 1:21pm

I have never joined any other OLD site other than Match. 3 years ago I loved it. Now... not so much!

In the past I never really heard anything good about eHarmony, but no one's ever elaborated on why they didn't like it, except how many questions you have to answer.

If I am


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 7:42pm

It depends very much on your age and geographical location.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 8:50pm

Both my boyfriend and I were. Both of us were matched with people at least 500 miles away and hated that.

(We met on

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 7:29am

I agree. I'm 47 and found it to be a total waste of money. The few people I know who've had good luck there are much younger.

And one thing they do that affects everyone, no matter your age, is send you "matches" who are no longer members.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 11:24am
I did one week on eHarmony then called them and demanded my money back (they did). I was matched with people who lived really far away, older, or simply had nothing in common with me. I did it when I first started OLD because I thought their guided response system seemed like a good way for me to dip my feet in the water again, but in the end, I prefer Match (though, truth be told, that ain't perfect either) because, where I live, it has the most men who have jobs and the educational level I prefer (snobby, I know). Where I am POF and OKCupid have way too many players, or 40+ year old guys who are living in mom's basement. I have had two dates with guys from OKCupid who were OK, but they were few and far between.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 10:02pm

One thing good about eHarmony is that it is not free so people who sign up for it are (theoretically) serious about dating plus there is the process of getting through all those questions/responses in order to communicate directly with the other person. I believe that this makes it harder for the "drop in" daters.

Plus the way eH is setup compared to Match or other similar dating sites, it is not like catalog shopping. I believe it is too easy to do window or catalog shopping online with similar expectations, i.e. I can "buy" any hot woman I want off the net.

I met women from different online dating sites through the 10 years I've been divorced. I am seeing someone for over a year now whom I met off eH. She would not have been matched with me if she did not expand her preferred age range. She's 50 and I'm 55.


We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2009
Sun, 07-12-2009 - 11:21pm

Never had any luck there. I met someone from okcupid site. It's is free, so there are more men to meet there. Of course your picture will be seen by anyone who searches, but you can (like I did) note that you will share a picture when you email.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Mon, 07-13-2009 - 2:15am
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 07-13-2009 - 9:46am
I think some people get ribbed about it at work. Thats why some people would prefer it to remain private as much as possible. Yes its childish and immature of their coworkers, but there it is none the less. Some people can probably shrug it off and others are thin skinned. I could see where people who are married and who met their spouse the old fashioned way, as in not through OLD, could somehow see OLD as desperate. However they have not "been there" and should they find themselves divorced someday, they would be doing OLD in a heartbeat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Mon, 07-13-2009 - 2:41pm

The only reason I ever did OLD was because I was not meeting ANY potential dates otherwise. I did check out eharmony and did their questionnaire and only got 1 match who lived about 200 miles away. Also, there were no photos so I could not see what he looked like--didn't really matter because I wasn't interested in a guy who lived in Omaha, NE and I lived in NE Missouri.

There are players on almost all of the dating sites, and there are likely some on eharmony but I've heard the theory about the time to fill out a profile and the expense involved as being a way to weed out the ones who are not really serious. I don't have a photo online as I don't own a digital camera and I don't use my real name so few people likely know that it's mine just by looking at it. I have seen a couple people from campus where I work and recognized their photos though.

I'm still debating on doing the trial period on Match again. Trying to work my nerve up again. :0

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009
Tue, 07-14-2009 - 12:39pm

Thanks everyone! Well you helped me make up my mind... I'm not joining eHarmony.

I know it's silly to be embarassed of OLD, but I'm a pretty private person. I, myself, don't find it to be desperate anymore, but I did 4 years ago when I was divorced. But the fact is, I will NOT date anyone that I work with - although there are many very attractive men - and I don't go to the bars anymore at all. The only other place I can think of is on a Saturday morning at the grocery store! LOL! I'm serious... I went grocery shopping late morning on a Saturday once and there were a LOT of men shopping. lol