Eharmony update

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Eharmony update
14
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 6:05pm

Last weekend I posted a message about my use of eharmony, asking if I should close matches that weren't responding to me after several days. At that point, I was communicating with 6 matches. Well, to update you, they started dropping like flies on Monday, closing their communication with me, mostly due to them "pursuing other matches."

I went to the site tonight and closed my communication with the last two men and I've also closed my account altogether. I'm not upset because I have nothing invested (besides the $50 I wasted to join), but it doesn't help your self esteem to have people closing communication with you every time you log into the site.

I hope all of you are having better luck than I am. Have a great weekend!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
In reply to: amytct
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 7:24pm

I was terribly dissappointed in eharmony.

Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: amytct
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 7:57pm

Hi Amy,


Sorry to hear about your experience. Are you just frustrated with EHarmony or all of OLD?


Kerry


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In reply to: amytct
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 9:42pm

I'm frustrated with dating altogether. A three-year relationship ended for me in March when I was dumped via the silent treatment and it's been only recently that I've felt like I was ready to start dating again.

Online dating just hasn't worked out. I first tried craigslist, but didn't meet anyone through that. Also, I can't stand it when a guy replies to your message and all he says is "Hi, can you send me a photo?" They don't even want to try and get to know you, they just want to see what you look like and if you're not a supermodel, that's the end of that. I cannot tell you how many times I relented by sending a photo and then never heard anything back. I'm certainly not beautiful, but I'm not chopped liver either. I think men have an ideal in their heads of the perfect woman, but guess what? She doesn't exist and they're missing out on some women by being so short-sighted.

Honestly, I've been thinking a lot the last couple weeks that maybe a relationship isn't going to happen for me ever again and that maybe that is for the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: amytct
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 9:54pm

I hear ya hon. Maybe a break is in order? Online dating (and dating) in general requires a hard skin. If you are taking rejection personally, then yes... take a break.


Realize though that people aren't looking for supermodels. Hell, if that was the case I'd never get

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: amytct
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 10:20pm
Sorry about your bad experiences, they were the same like mine. After close to a year of old, I'm throwing the towel in. I never found a site I liked however the worst offenders for me were Eharmony and Match. EHarmony for no matches at all after 6plus months, and Match for having men who were extremely mean spirited and rude. I'm in the last month of my perfect match sub. and what a rip off that's been, same game players, liars and ghosters. I've joined many sites and dropped them all except for pm, because they won't refund my money. OLD is not for me!
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
In reply to: amytct
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 8:35am
I was on EH for two months and hated it. I've tried most of the big ones - match, yahoo, lavalife, matchmaker and EH. The guy I'm dating now I met on match. If I suddenly found myself "out there" again, I'd go back to match and/or yahoo but I'd stay well clear of EH. I found it the most depressing out of all of them - getting closed out repeatedly is no fun. Plus the guys they matched me with rarely had anything in common with me! I think EH is a total racket and they have a lot of nerve charging so much. I found out, after I joined, that there are a lot more women than men on EH. If I had known that, I definitely wouldn't have joined. One of the reasons I started OLD in the first place is I kept hearing there were a lot more men doing it than women. Not so sure that's still true, at least in my age group (40s).
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
In reply to: amytct
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 10:31pm

I am also very disappointed in eHarmony.

I have over thirty "matches" most of which closed out on me very quickly "pursuing other relationships" or "our physical distance is too far". The men that have communicated with me picked sex questions for the ice breakers. The real kicker was when I was "matched" with my abusive ex-husband. I also did not realize that there are way more women than men on the sites and where I am not ugly I am no raving beuty either. Amazing what these guys look like and they want a Barbie doll.

I also think that I have been matched with men no longer members because they never communicated. It's a racket.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
In reply to: amytct
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 11:41pm
I was VERY disappointed with eHarmony. Yeah...match and yahoo have their flaws but jeez!...I was constantly getting closed matches from guys and as with some of the other ladies here I was totally perplexed as to how these matches were created to begin with. At least with the other sites your pool is a little bit wider. Eharmony seems to think that were all matched on some fundamental basics, which in theory makes sense but the bottom line is if your pic doesn't pass muster, you're outta there. eHarmony folks are just as superficial as the rest of us! LOL
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: amytct
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 8:45am

What really bothered me when they would close it is some would choose "I'd rather not say" which is like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Can't they just say something like I'm pursuing another match.

So what you do is rather than "accept" their match. I would just close it myself and I'd select "I'd rather not say" Let them think WHAT DOES THAT MEAN I WAS CLOSING ON HER HUH???

Men and their egos. They can't remotely think that just saying something like I am pursuing another match would be fine, they'd rather lead you to believe you are quasimodo.

I'll be the lone supporter of eHarmony. I like it. I like the questioning phases to weed people out, I didn't really mind being closed out, it just means they aren't interested and you need to close people out in order to make room in your list for new people, I too closed people out it wasn't a big deal. Besides the price I liked the setup, but its difficult in my area because there aren't a lot of people, it was the same way on Match and all the others, not a lot of guys in my area which makes dating difficult. I live 20 mins from Worcester I had a guy in Worcester call me when he found out where I lived he felt it was too far to drive. HUH?? Men are just LAZY in my area. They want a girl who lives on their doorstep for crying out loud. I'm not close enough to Boston to meet anyone there nor to New Hampshire so for me it's really about location for the reasons I'm not able to get a lot of people on ANY site.




Edited 10/23/2005 8:51 am ET by sniffle_sally
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
In reply to: amytct
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 10:07am
You're not a lone supporter. Though I've mentioned on other threads that I probably wouldn't rejoin when my membership runs out because the men I get matched with are so far away, any man I've communicated with or met have been nice guys. I guess I think the REALLY shallow guys wouldn't even want to take the time to fill out the personality profile which took me forever. I'm thinking of giving match a try after my eharmony membership runs out.

Pages