Eharmony update
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Eharmony update
| Fri, 10-21-2005 - 6:05pm |
Last weekend I posted a message about my use of eharmony, asking if I should close matches that weren't responding to me after several days. At that point, I was communicating with 6 matches. Well, to update you, they started dropping like flies on Monday, closing their communication with me, mostly due to them "pursuing other matches."
I went to the site tonight and closed my communication with the last two men and I've also closed my account altogether. I'm not upset because I have nothing invested (besides the $50 I wasted to join), but it doesn't help your self esteem to have people closing communication with you every time you log into the site.
I hope all of you are having better luck than I am. Have a great weekend!

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I was terribly dissappointed in eharmony.
Hi Amy,
Sorry to hear about your experience. Are you just frustrated with EHarmony or all of OLD?
Kerry
I'm frustrated with dating altogether. A three-year relationship ended for me in March when I was dumped via the silent treatment and it's been only recently that I've felt like I was ready to start dating again.
Online dating just hasn't worked out. I first tried craigslist, but didn't meet anyone through that. Also, I can't stand it when a guy replies to your message and all he says is "Hi, can you send me a photo?" They don't even want to try and get to know you, they just want to see what you look like and if you're not a supermodel, that's the end of that. I cannot tell you how many times I relented by sending a photo and then never heard anything back. I'm certainly not beautiful, but I'm not chopped liver either. I think men have an ideal in their heads of the perfect woman, but guess what? She doesn't exist and they're missing out on some women by being so short-sighted.
Honestly, I've been thinking a lot the last couple weeks that maybe a relationship isn't going to happen for me ever again and that maybe that is for the best.
I hear ya hon. Maybe a break is in order? Online dating (and dating) in general requires a hard skin. If you are taking rejection personally, then yes... take a break.
Realize though that people aren't looking for supermodels. Hell, if that was the case I'd never get
I am also very disappointed in eHarmony.
I have over thirty "matches" most of which closed out on me very quickly "pursuing other relationships" or "our physical distance is too far". The men that have communicated with me picked sex questions for the ice breakers. The real kicker was when I was "matched" with my abusive ex-husband. I also did not realize that there are way more women than men on the sites and where I am not ugly I am no raving beuty either. Amazing what these guys look like and they want a Barbie doll.
I also think that I have been matched with men no longer members because they never communicated. It's a racket.
What really bothered me when they would close it is some would choose "I'd rather not say" which is like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Can't they just say something like I'm pursuing another match.
So what you do is rather than "accept" their match. I would just close it myself and I'd select "I'd rather not say" Let them think WHAT DOES THAT MEAN I WAS CLOSING ON HER HUH???
Men and their egos. They can't remotely think that just saying something like I am pursuing another match would be fine, they'd rather lead you to believe you are quasimodo.
I'll be the lone supporter of eHarmony. I like it. I like the questioning phases to weed people out, I didn't really mind being closed out, it just means they aren't interested and you need to close people out in order to make room in your list for new people, I too closed people out it wasn't a big deal. Besides the price I liked the setup, but its difficult in my area because there aren't a lot of people, it was the same way on Match and all the others, not a lot of guys in my area which makes dating difficult. I live 20 mins from Worcester I had a guy in Worcester call me when he found out where I lived he felt it was too far to drive. HUH?? Men are just LAZY in my area. They want a girl who lives on their doorstep for crying out loud. I'm not close enough to Boston to meet anyone there nor to New Hampshire so for me it's really about location for the reasons I'm not able to get a lot of people on ANY site.
Edited 10/23/2005 8:51 am ET by sniffle_sally
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