Elizabeth Taylor Syndrome
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| Mon, 11-28-2005 - 5:30pm |
Years ago, (and I wish I had kept a copy of the article) a psychologist wrote an extensive article about Elizabeth Taylor's many marriage failures and the reasons why this psychologist thought that most of her marriages ended in divorce.
To paraphrase here, it boiled down to the fact that Liz got a high out of that euphoric "in love" phase that is there during the dating process and early months of a marriage. The psychologist went on to explain that the euphroic "in love" phase was usually a temporary state; that even in the best of marriages, it isn't normal to be able to keep that "high" all the time or even most of the time. She further explained that Liz was not able to deal with the day-to-day "norm" of a marriage and thought she had to have that high (almost like a drug) in order to survive or be happy. It was a well-written article and it spoke volumes about marriage and what happiness within a marriage was all about.
It seems to be my experience, and maybe some others might think along those same lines here, that there are quite a few men and women who fall into this "Liz Syndrome". They date someone only for a short while, and as soon as they think the sparks are gone or they find some small fault within the other person, they are through with the person. In Liz's case, she "MARRIED" them all instead of dating them a bit longer before making that big step. To put it another way, Liz had no STAYING POWER for her marriages or relationships. I think the same can be said about a lot of men I've encountered during the dating process these last few years (not all met via online either). Again, I think OLD provides the appeal of the kid in the candy store type scenario where there will always be another flavor (another woman) if for any reason you don't have sparks after the first few dates.
I will clarify that if you have zero attraction for the other person on date #1, then that isn't a good sign (I've experienced that myself), but if you do have sparks to BEGIN with, then it's usually worth pursuing. But, it does take some effort and work on the part of the people involved. I think a lot of men don't give women a chance if they suddenly think they're "bored" with the relationship. I think Liz got bored many, many times. She isn't a celebrity I've ever thought highly of if for no other reason than her use or "misuse" of other people and their feelings. You might read up a bit about the break-up of Eddy Fisher & Debbie Reynolds' marriage. Was quite the scandal when Liz and Eddy got married. :0

Excellent read and perfect for this board – and I agree 100% with you. It seems to me as soon as the newness wears off most, not all are wanting to bail!!!
Right on the money! Love it!
Peanut