To Email Or Not To Email--that is the...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
To Email Or Not To Email--that is the...
10
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 2:16am

After exchanging daily emails for a few weeks, he suggested that we meet. We went out on Friday to dinner, had a nice time, a lot in common, good conversation for over 2 hours. There wasn't any mention of going out again during the date which I know can be a bad sign---lack of interest, but I've had guys not mention it during the date and bring it up a few days later.

When we were walking out to our cars, he said that he would write soon which I took with a grain of salt(you know, the "I'll call you"----yeah, okay). So I haven't heard from him since. I know it has only been two days. I also realize that it is a holiday weekend, and he might be busy. Should I send him a quick email to let him know that I had a nice time, and we should do it again? Or should I leave the ball in his court and wait to see if he contacts me first?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 8:33am
I wouldn't since he said he would email you, thus keeping the ball in his court. I have sent emails like that occasionally when I really liked the guy and there was no mention of further contact, but if the guy says he will call or email, give him a chance to follow through.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 10:26am
Leave the ball in his court.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 3:54pm

I will "write soon" that's a new one :-)

I wouldn't write him - if he's into you he will pick up the phone and find out when he can see you again - that much I DO KNOW. He knows your interested. I tend to give off a tough vibe - I hear it more often then not as in "you're a hard read" ... so I try really hard to make sure I let them know I'm interested during the date as in "oh what a relief" you actually look better then your picture or "wow, great eyes or smiles"...and trust me it's hard for me to do this on date one as I'm guarded and trust on one.....

But it's dating.....he may have liked you but not enough to where he wants to ask you out again right away or maybe he's dating and meeting others ... if he asks you out again go but I wouldn't pursue him.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 1:47am

I am certainly not going to pursue him. I don't believe it works out in the end, and that just isn't how I operate.

I don't believe that he is dating anyone regularly. When we made plans for dinner, he said that he was free on Friday and Saturday. He certainly maybe in various stages of communication with other people as I am and "playing the field".

I am not sure that he knows that I am interested. Other than the fact that I corresponded with him prior to meeting and accepted his dinner offer, I'm not one to overtly flirt on the first date which I think can sometimes be misunderstood as a lack of interest.

At this point, I have pretty much written him off. I know in "guy time" two days isn't much, but to women it seems like an eternity. I hate the waiting game!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 2:01am

I'm in the same position. We had a dinner date on Saturday night that lasted four hours. I'm shy and he was very outgoing and flirtatious. I thought we had a good time and both mentioned wanting a second date. I still haven't heard from him. I'll give it a week or so before I forget about him.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 9:50am
My experience has been that if a guy is interested he will contact you. Often time his time schedule isn't what I expect it to be, so be patient. Good if he contacts you, if not, move on...he wasn't interested and not the one for you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 10:11am
My experience has been if they were really interested, they would make plans for the 2nd date at the end of the 1st date. That may not be the case for a lot of people, but for me it seems that if they do not make some mention of a 2nd date at the end of the evening, this ends up as another one-time only date; they disappear later regardless. I have had this happen EVEN when I thought the date went well, so I am a bit gun-shy about them calling later. I just assume they won't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 10:47am

Hang in there - just as an FYI - this happens more often then not. I experience and hear this ALL THE TIME. You go out once, twice whatever and have a GREAT date only to never hear from them again. That's why I say if you get past 3-4 dates (3 date make or break) you're more than likley on your way to 'dating them'....anything under that - at any time they may not decide you're for them (nothing personal) just as we decide sometimes they aren't for us (works both ways).

That's why it's wise to not have any expectations early on. Don't fall in the trap of meeting someone, telling all your friends about him, how perfect he would be, if you were to get married - DON'T GO THERE...you will be let down. Date the person and see if they are worthy!

Hugs,
SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 12:59pm
Well, assuming you met him on old, I like to check their profiles to see when they've been active. If they've been active in the last 24 hours and have taken longer than normal to contact me, I figure they've lost interest, unless maybe it's a holiday. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 4:01pm

>>Should I send him a quick email to let him know that I had a nice time, and we should do it again?<<

No. You told him you had a good time that night, right? Why tell him again?

>>Or should I leave the ball in his court and wait to see if he contacts me first?<<

Yes, and if he hasn't already, he probably won't- but you can't be sure. But remember this- if he's into you, he'll be calling and emailing and trying to contact you. If he isn't, he won't.