Emailing forever

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2009
Emailing forever
6
Wed, 06-17-2009 - 8:33pm

I had a guy respond to my ad on Match and we have been emailing for almost 3 weeks. At one point he hadn't replied to my email for almost a week and I broke down and sent a 'hi how you doing' email and he's been replying ever since but I'm just wondering am I wasting my time at this point. He doesn't seem inclined to take it to the next step and actually meet for a cup of coffee. I'd like to get to know him better so I want to 'do this right' and I know I'm not suppose to be the one to ask about meeting....knowing guys like the chase and all that.


Any suggestions or do I just write him off and move on? It would be really tough since he has a lot of the qualities I've been looking for but I don't want to waste time either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
In reply to: lizk75
Wed, 06-17-2009 - 9:26pm
I don't see anything wrong with asking for a first meet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
In reply to: lizk75
Wed, 06-17-2009 - 11:18pm

Well, 3 weeks isn’t that long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
In reply to: lizk75
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 5:01am
I'm just wondering am I wasting my time at this point.


Yes, you are wasting your time, unless you like emailing with guys who don't like you well enough to try and set up a date with you.


Look, you met on an OLD site? It's a safe bet that he should be able to figure out that you're there to date. Been three weeks, multiple emails, and he hasn't asked you out?


That means HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU. Or at least he doesn't want to go out badly enough to actually, you know, try and set up a date with you.


Move on to the next guy, and next time, set a limit; if he hasn't asked you out or arranged a date within, say, 4 or 5 emails from each of you (TOPS- my wife and I managed to arrange a date in two or three emails) then he's not into you enough to keep spending time on him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: lizk75
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 10:25pm

I totally agree with you. I had a guy wink at me at the beginning of May, he seemed OK, so I emailed him. That was followed by more than a month of STUPID emails on his end...very cryptic, answering questions with questions. Why did I continue? One, I was bored, two, I was "talking" to other people, so I didn't really pay much attention to this one guy. He wanted to meet, I gave him my number...no phone call. The he dropped out of sight for a week, whatever. Then a few more cryptic emails. Then, one night, I got a phone call. I didn't hear my phone, but I saw that he had called the following morning. Well, I couldn't call him back because his number showed up as RESTRICTED.

What a nerve. I sent him an email saying he was clearly playing games and he must be married...after all, I had answered all his questions about me, I had shared my phone number, he had done neither, and to add insult to injury had a restricted number. Never heard from him again.

My first foray into OLD was with a guy who had been a comedy writer for Jay Leno (really, I looked him up) and wrote humor pieces for well known magazines. We had a great email relationship for a MONTH...long, very drawn out, yet very funny emails. He could never meet...always one excuse after another. Finally we were able to meet one night, he spent the whole time referring to his ex as "my wife", and being quite angry at her.

Then an email the next morning saying he didn't think he wanted to date me, but would be happy to continue the emails. Next.

I learned my lesson...3-5 emails MAX, then ask to meet. Period.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
In reply to: lizk75
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 12:02am

Interesting about the Jay Leno writer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2009
In reply to: lizk75
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 8:49pm

Thanks everyone. I guess I already knew the answer but needed it verified. It's been tough because unlike the last poster. I haven't gotten any