Embellishment: how much is too much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Embellishment: how much is too much?
11
Wed, 12-02-2009 - 4:30pm

I read an interesting article today on eHarmony Advice warning against embellishing too much on your profile and it got me thinking, is a little okay, and how much is too much?


After all, we are participating in online dating for a reason--to meet people. And since there's competition, the dating services have encouraged us to put our best foot forward.


Sometimes it's just the adjectives you use to describe your personality--I'm confident, fun and affectionate, for instance. These are subjective and open to interpretation by others who meet us.


But I've had quite a few conversations with men I've met through OLD who swear women lie about who and what they are. I haven't caught any of my dates in an outright lie, but I did find that a few stretched the truth in terms of their height, weight, and professional accomplishments.


What about you? Have you found that people you meet paint a portrait that's different from who they are in real life?

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 12:46am

The biggest lie i find men make is their height. As IF we arent going to stand up at some point & I will notice he is 5'8" instead of 6'1 !!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 12:20pm
You know, I think you're right. I've even 'called' a few men on it and had them argue with me that they

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 4:26pm

I find the majority of people don't themselves well enough to describe who they are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Fri, 12-04-2009 - 3:47pm

As a guy, I focus mainly on the pictures.

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Fri, 12-04-2009 - 8:13pm

Caveat: I'm not like most guys *grin* so my opinion is just one data point, i.e. I don't speak for my gender.

I like to see photos reflecting the woman's personality and interest. If she is a happy person, then I would like to see her smiling. If she is playful then let's see her being that way. If she likes to hike, then I would like to see her out in the woods.

I especially like to see a close up of her face. Also I would like to see a shot of her body, so I can tell what her body type is (thin, average, etc.) - so a bikini pic would be ideal *smirk*

All photos have to be recent. Plus those professional, formal, studio shots with the woman all made up and dressed up does not convey what the "real" woman looks like IMHO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 12-05-2009 - 1:29pm
I was just discussing this w/ my SIL, who is 5'9" and definitely wants a guy who is taller than she is--I think an inch or so wouldn't be too noticeable but I would figure that if a guy would lie about something that is so easily discoverable, what else would he lie about?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 9:01am

Lying about height is definitely something I see a lot of.

The other is job status. I have met more than a few guys who indicate they are "self-employed" or "entrepeneurs" (spelling, I know). When you actually meet them you come to discover that they are dubiously employed, barely making ends meet, and because they are working for themselves, some aren't very active in trying to get 'clients'.

Often they will state in their profile that they worked for so-and-so (usually some big name), or as a (fill in the blank, but a high paying title) for a long time and then they decided to go off on their own...

I am starting to find that for some guys, 'going off on my own' is code for "I got fired".

Of course, this isn't true for everyone, but where I live, it seems to be the case.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 12:03pm

Men often lie about their height.


Women often lie about their weight.


As far as careers/job issues – while there are some successful self-employed consultants, entrepreneurs, etc. that is often a euphemism for “laid off, fired, between jobs, collecting unemployment, etc.”

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 10:39pm

Hi I'm new.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 12:00am

I think most people are not skilled about writing about themselves and how to "sell" themselves on an online dating site.

I give someone a LOT of leeway on how they present themselves online. That is why I get to a phone conversation ASAP to see how they can carry a real conversation. If that guy can only talk about himself and his business then I would move on.

Mark

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