Endless coffee dates?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Endless coffee dates?
13
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 3:02pm

Every spring I get the urge to put my profile back online after a winter hiatus. And every summer I spend my time going on countless coffee dates with guys of all shapes and personalities. And invariably, by the time August rolls around, I'm exhausted with the endless 'interviews.'

I suppose it's the way things go when you date but does anyone else just get tired? emotionally and physically? I guess I keep it up because I have that belief deep down that one of these times I'm going to get the prize.

Never give all the heart, for love...
If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:02pm
Coffee dates sound fun. Playing pool is good too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 12:59am

I agree with you. My match subscription ended about 2 weeks ago. I met

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 10:12am

Hi there,


Yes, it takes a lot of sifting through sand to finally find the treasure. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Besides internet dating, try meetups.com. if you haven't already. You can find many activity groups in your local area. The men gravitate more towards the physical groups

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 11:15am
I do agree that women who like sports have an advantage to meeting guys. A friend of mine has a kayaking club & she also does biking & triathlons and she met all her recent BFs that way. Unfortunately I'm not athletic & I'm not going to pretend to like things I don't like cause then we'll both be unhappy. I know people who have met one guy through OLD and ended up having a relationhip, but I think for most people you do have to go through a lot of first meets. After a while it seems kind of like job interviews.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 12:27pm

I agree with you about getting tired. I would have positive thoughts when

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Sat, 08-07-2010 - 3:02pm
It's like everything else....on occasion we need to take a break from things to take a breath. If we don't we start making bad decisions. I know first hand how nice it would be to have someone in my life but taking time to meet the right guy is a good idea.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 8:58am

I agree , it can be exhausting. I've been job hunting off and on also since I started OLD...and the process is exactly the same. Sad thing is, I can't find a good job either.

I go through phases where I hide my profile, or let my subscription lapse.

Maybe you could try to mix up the coffee dates. (I don't sit around in coffee shops on my own, so it doesn't seem a natural place to meet a guy, either)

I've had first meets at the rail trail, ice cream stand, etc.

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 2:38pm
I actually do have first meets at different cafes, pubs and bars in my neighbourhood. I've joined meetups, one in particular for music, and have met some new friends there, but no potential dates. I'm very social so I'm out a lot. What I'm finding is I'm meeting the same sort of guy - divorced, doesn't want committment, scared of the independent woman..and the list goes on. Maybe I've become jaded. I've been doing this off and on for about 10 years now. Perhaps it's time to accept that maybe there IS no ONE out there! :)
Never give all the heart, for love...
If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2010
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 2:50pm
You haven't become jaded! Well...maybe! We have all be there! I know I have. You just need to get clear on what you want! Write down a list of what you want in your perfect man and think positive. That is the hard part but you can do it! Get clear and I bet he will show up :)
Ruth Bailey www.gethimtolikeyou.com www.personalquestcoaching.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2009
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 11:17am

I'll take the 'guy side' of this one and state the obvious.

You don't have time for another person in your
life but your sending the message that you do.

In the past I tried to date wonderful, attractive women who had fascinating/full lives. In each case they said they wanted to date and in each case it was an incredibly frustrating experience that ended badly. Why? There just wasn't any time left for another person.

The statement "text or call me when you're not busy" says it all.

 

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