Etiquette when you aren't interested?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 02-16-2007 - 9:19am |
I've been thinking about this for a while. There have been quite a few posts recently from people that have had a first meet and thought it went well but never heard from the person again. I just read a post from someone new to OLD who posed the question of what to do if you are on a meet and not interested and the person asks you out again face-to-face.
I met someone a few nights ago. I was fairly sure within half an hour that he wasn't someone I would be interested in romantically but he was fairly nice and we chatted for about an hour and a half. I feel that it would be rude to say flat out that I'm not interested and cut the meeting short especially if the conversation is good but perhaps this is the right thing to do. When he asked if I'd like to go out again, I just suggested he message me. He did and I replied that although I enjoyed meeting him that extra something just wasn't there. I thanked him and that was it.
So how should one deal with the situation during the meet as well as afterwards if he asks you out again? Should the meet be cut short so as not to leave a false impression of interest? This seems very rude to me but I've seen so many messages accusing men of playing games and being unkind for having a nice time when they don't intend to call again that it makes me wonder.
Sorry if this is a bit wordy but I wanted to explain what I meant.

Pages
It's a tough one . . . I've gone on plenty of meets and frankly prefer the whole attitude that we thank each other for the time and go our seperate ways. We know how to get ahold of one another should we wish to see each other again. Simple. No room to put the other person on the spot.
I had a first meet a few weeks ago and while we had a good conversation over coffee . . . I didn't exactly feel anything. As we were walking to our cars he abrubtly turned to me and said "Well what do you think . . . do we have enough in common to move forward with this?" . . . I felt so uncomfortable and kind of hesitated . . . it was an awful spot to be in . . . finally he said "yeah you're really a nice person but I think we have a lot of different interests" . . .
LOL I was like "Okay then . . . . bye"
I found that to be very awkward and unnecessary. Why ask me if I'm interested in seeing him again when first of all he isn't interested ?? Just drop it and move on . . . had I actually made an effort to contact him later he could have let me down in an email.
He even emailed me later to wish me best of luck . . . blah blah blah
I know alot of you will think he took the high road and find it commendable that he put it out in the open like that . . . but at that point I don't think it was necessary.
It sounds more like he was giving you an out when he realized you weren't as interested as he was. That would also explain the follow-up e-mail.
Sounds like he took it very well.
cb
you mean you think he actually WAS interested in ME??
hmmmm I hadn't thought of that at all.
Jeeesh I'm thick aren't I ?? And here I thought I was perceptive. Hmph that may explain why he continues to view my profile.
Thanks for the different perspective . . .
Pages