EWWWW! worst profile ever

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
EWWWW! worst profile ever
14
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 11:20am
(Where's the VOMIT icon?)

~ I will always open your door, seat you at dinner, and spoil you with flowers ~ I will always hold your hand, kiss you in public, and tell you I love you ~ I will always bring you smiles, and make you laugh ~ I will always adore you in evening gown, jeans, and lingerie, and tell you you look stunning, gorgeous, and sexy ~ I will always be there for you, defend you, and support you ~ I will always tell you the truth and be honest with you ~ I promise you all the chivalry, courtship, romance, and seduction you crave. This, my commitment to you, reflects who I am: a gentleman, your rock, yet passionate, charismatic; strong & fearless, yet sensitive & compassionate; refined in the living room, yet wicked lascivious in the bedroom.... I enjoy a career that affords me a lot of time off, and ability to travel -- but alone, no more! Paris, Vienna, Prague, Venice, London, Rome beckon... as do the wineries of Napa Valley, the beaches of the Caribbean, and the ski slopes of Colorado! I've tasted the world and the seven seas, but it's only been a taste; I'm craving more, with someone equally insatiable. I want to take you ~ body & soul ~ all the places, physical & emotional, you've dreamt of.

Translation: "VERY lonely (horny) man, either posessing NO concept of reality versus fairy tale, or just a sleazy wannabe manipulator... seeks equally lonely, clueless, shallow woman who still believes Prince Charming will come sweep her off her feet. I don't care if you're a Royal Princess or a dirt poor Cinderella, I don't care if you are educated, employed, share any opinions or values, I'm not looking for a real woman, just a trophy. I'll promise you the world and more, if only you'll wet my willy. Did I mention I'm wicked lascivious? I threw "commitment" in there too, that's what you chicks are supposed to want, right?"


Edited 2/24/2006 3:40 pm ET by phoenixmama

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 12:55pm
Hey! My brother is an airline pilot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 12:58pm
Vomit is right!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:23pm

That's hilarious! That does make you want to puke on your shoes. I wonder if he had help with that and what kind of success he's been having.

Hey Kerry - nothing wrong with SOME pilots, but they are known for being players! ;-)

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 3:34pm
Sorry if I offended (maybe I should have phrased it differently or just left it out) but exactly what vex said - and part of the thing that makes me want to puke about this guy, is when people reinforce unfortunate cliche's. Like the dumb jock, the dishonest politician, the power-abusing cop, and the boring accountant. They are not even a majority (I know some VERY interesting party-animal accountants LOL!) but some some people do perpetuate stereotypes and this guy was one of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 4:00pm
And if he had a babe in every port, you really think he'd tell his sister? LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 4:09pm
Actually, you'd be surprised what my brother and I share... LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 4:12pm
I really don't want to go there. LMAO


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 4:28pm
I can't go there... he would kill me! Hey!!! I just realized where you were going you dirty bird! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 5:46pm

Incest is best - it's a game the whole family can play.

Ewwww...yeah. don't ask why that popped into my head. I'm fried, and no rest for the weary this weekend...


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 6:25pm
You are no longer allowed to be near a keyboard! Ick, ick... :p lolol

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