EWWWW! worst profile ever

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
EWWWW! worst profile ever
14
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 11:20am
(Where's the VOMIT icon?)

~ I will always open your door, seat you at dinner, and spoil you with flowers ~ I will always hold your hand, kiss you in public, and tell you I love you ~ I will always bring you smiles, and make you laugh ~ I will always adore you in evening gown, jeans, and lingerie, and tell you you look stunning, gorgeous, and sexy ~ I will always be there for you, defend you, and support you ~ I will always tell you the truth and be honest with you ~ I promise you all the chivalry, courtship, romance, and seduction you crave. This, my commitment to you, reflects who I am: a gentleman, your rock, yet passionate, charismatic; strong & fearless, yet sensitive & compassionate; refined in the living room, yet wicked lascivious in the bedroom.... I enjoy a career that affords me a lot of time off, and ability to travel -- but alone, no more! Paris, Vienna, Prague, Venice, London, Rome beckon... as do the wineries of Napa Valley, the beaches of the Caribbean, and the ski slopes of Colorado! I've tasted the world and the seven seas, but it's only been a taste; I'm craving more, with someone equally insatiable. I want to take you ~ body & soul ~ all the places, physical & emotional, you've dreamt of.

Translation: "VERY lonely (horny) man, either posessing NO concept of reality versus fairy tale, or just a sleazy wannabe manipulator... seeks equally lonely, clueless, shallow woman who still believes Prince Charming will come sweep her off her feet. I don't care if you're a Royal Princess or a dirt poor Cinderella, I don't care if you are educated, employed, share any opinions or values, I'm not looking for a real woman, just a trophy. I'll promise you the world and more, if only you'll wet my willy. Did I mention I'm wicked lascivious? I threw "commitment" in there too, that's what you chicks are supposed to want, right?"


Edited 2/24/2006 3:40 pm ET by phoenixmama

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 7:09pm
Well, I'm sure someone bought into that profile. Sounds like something Ricard Montalban would write.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 9:22pm

Did I miss the airline pilot thing?

BTW, I've dated a lot of those, and narrowly escaped being one myself - and NONE of them would write that drivel. They're good at directly asking for sex. :-)



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 2:11am

I just love a guy with humility.

Lemme at him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:21am

Ewwww is RIGHT! Sheesh!


.... So, how was your date with him? LOL!

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