Ex is back!
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| Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:48pm |
First, please don't flog me for posting here as I realize this is only loosely speaking an OLD question (my ex and I met online) but you guys give such good advice that I hope you can help me out . . .
Those of you who have been around for awhile may remember this guy . . . he broke up with me over a year ago after nearly getting engaged. We were mostly compatible in terms of goals and personalities; what ended things is that when things weren't going smoothly (which I take some responsibility for - I was not as patient or accepting as I should have been) he dealt with it by ending our relationship rather than trying to talk about it or work on things. I was heartbroken and it took a long time to get over him, but I have learned from my mistakes in that relationship and moved on. I still care deeply for him and think about him often, but have not seen or spoken to him since we broke up.
Anyway . . . I just got a "fishing" email from him - not exactly saying that he wants to get back together, but saying that he still cares for me and thinks that if we had found a better way to manage conflict we would still be together.
ARGH! It took forever but I thought I was finally over him - but now this email has me in a tailspin. I have never gotten back together with an ex and am not sure it would be a good idea - but I still care for him and haven't been able to get him completely out of my mind the whole time we have been apart.
I have not decided what to do yet - right now my thoughts are all over the place and not very coherent. Part of me wants to see him again, at least just to talk, and part of me is afraid to, I think b/c I am afraid of getting involved with him again and having things go south again. One more bit of background is that he was engaged years ago and broke it off a couple of months before the wedding, so I have concerns that he either isn't willing to work through hard times and runs when problems arise or just doesn't know what he wants - and if so then he may do the same thing again if we did get back together.
Any thoughts or words of advice? Am I foolish to entertain the notion of getting back together with him? I could use some perspective . . .
Oh, and further complicating things . . . there is a match guy who I really like (well, on paper anyway :) who called me yesterday so I have to return that call tonight- hopefully I can get myself in proper phone condition by then.

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So very true.
I had a rude awakening recently when I discovered that an ex had been monitoring me via the internet. Over the course of several months, he'd made innumerable references to our relationship whilst dishing out the jabs. All this accomplished was to cement that I'd made a very wise decision (my cell phone calling detail had been tracked too).
Yes, Lg. There IS a reason they're called Ex's. Lesson learned? To be wary of people who need to remind you of what nice guys they are.
Edited 6/3/2005 10:19 am ET ET by happyjustme
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