excited about my date tonight-silly

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
excited about my date tonight-silly
9
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 10:35am

So i have a date tonight with a VERY cute guy. So far I think he's been the cutest to contact me. Now yes I KNOW that sounds shallow...but I think everyone can agree that looks are important...also this guy is getting his masters from Harvard...so he's obviously smart.

I just feel like this will be a let down though ): as in too good to be true. I think i said before that he probably gets lots of attention...i think he's sorta new to the area, he said he was looking to meet new people. We had emailed, then yesterday i received an email from him asking me if i wanted to go out that night then he gave me his cell #. I called him and told him i couldnt do last nigth, but was he around any other nights. He said how about tonight. I said sure. He told me to call him when i get out of work...so i'm going to (:

Has anyone experienced anything like this? going on a date that seems too good to be true...and it is?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 11:08am

Yes, lots of times. That's why I've learned to keep my expectations very low. I hope for the best, but I don't expect it, if that makes any sense.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 11:11am

"Has anyone experienced anything like this? going on a date that seems too good to be true...and it is?"

Oh yeah! The guy I'm dating right now! He is attractive, likes to bike, is extrememly smart, easy going, funny, nice, down to earth, and close to his family... those are main things I'm looking for and he's got them all. He seems too good to be true but so far he has been acting very into me. I haven't gotten any signs from him that he's losing interest. I'm kind of like you, though, I feel like the whole thing may be a let down pretty soon for whatever reason. Oh well, I'm enjoying it while it lasts, and you should, too!

Have fun tonight! Let us know if he is as cute in person as his pics!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 12:53pm

thanks, it is definitely hard to keep expectations low...but it's hard...especially when something seems good and you've had some bad luck with dates as of late (:

I will keep you informed as to whether he's as cute in his pics in real life...i have a feeling he is though...he has several up close shots of himself...and he looks like he could pretty much be an abecrombie model in all of them...maybe he's a jerk? ahh see, i'm already setting myself up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 5:08pm
Yup, been there several times. As you know I've had the same lack of luck in dating too this last year until meeting my recent guy that I'm dating now. It really is hard to keep expectations low but still enjoy it at the same time. I'm trying my best now but I'm having a hard time believing sometimes that things are going as smoothly as they are and I really like him. I wish you luck on your date tonight! Dont' get too excited to where you might feel the disappointment but remain optomistic and try to enjoy yourself as much as you can on the date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 10:23am

well I had the 'meeting' last night and i can tell you that i'm a lot less excited now than i was yesterday. He looked like his pictures, was very nice, smart etc...but he is just here for grad school then is going home to his country. He also said he wants to live in S. America for a year to learn spanish right after school...is doing a 4 month internship this summer in Kuwait and is going home in december for a month. So um yeah...I dont think he and I are on the same page in terms of a relationship. Obviously relationships were not discussed. The conversation was actually quite good, we talked for about an hour and a half, no awkward silences. I am not sure why he's doing online dating to be honest. he doenst strike me as the type who is just looking to hook up...he couldnt be too lonely taking 5 classes for a masters this semester...sounds like his program does plenty of social activities on a weekly basis. So again...i dont know why he feels the need to do OLD at this point in his life...but i guess only he knows that. I know there is no set rule on OLD, but maybe people who are not looking for LTRs should indicate that. I mean, what 28 year old female isnt looking for something serious? Most are...but of course many men arent.

Of course for me it was a little disappointing...yes i met someone nice, but again it was someone that I know nothing will really come of. When we were leaving the good bye was sort of akward. He went to hug me, then i tried to kiss me on the cheek and my nose ended up hitting the side of his face...we laughed about it, then i ended up just kissing his cheek...i'm not really one of those kiss on the cheek people when i dont know someone-but he's european so that's his culture. He said he would give me a call at the end of the week when his midterms were over. Im not holding my breath.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 10:46am

Now, see, further to my other post to you this morning, with a few more questions by email or on the phone prior to meeting, you could have found those things out before you met him and then decided whether to meet him or not.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 10:58am
this guy was pretty quick on the phoen though...some people are just all about that face to face meet. I have an excuse for everything, lol. I try to be laid back about things, but i guess i'm not. It's akward to say to someone, so what are your plans, how long will you be in this country for, what are you doing with the rest of your life?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 11:03am

Why is it awkward? I ask things like that all the time--not the ridiculous question about what are you doing for the rest of your life, but if someone's not originally from this area or doesn't seem to have ties to this area, I definitely ask about whether he plans to stay here.

What's awkward about an email that says, I understand you're in grad school and are from XYZ--what are your plans after school?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 4:24pm
I'm sorry you're disappointed after the date. That is kind of a lot going on in his life to be in a relationship. Sometimes you don't think to ask everything on the phone and then find out later. You can't ask everything and give the guy the third degree right off the bat sometimes. But at least you found out now that he's going to be a super busy guy and you can ask yourself if this is something you can accept right now. You can ask about his plans afterward and what not, but you also have a choice to say yes or no to this situation knowing that he will be busy in grad school for a bit and it would be hard to establish a relationship like this. At this point in my life (just turned 31) I don't think I would accept a situation such as this. I want someone who's at the same place in their life as me and wants to put a relationship as a top priority because I don't have much time left to have a family of my own biologically and I don't want to mess around dating the wrong men anymore. I pretty much wasted 6 months of my life waiting for a man to come back from deployment who was in the Navy and then turned out he had to move to Japan anyway and also wasn't really in a place to be in a relationhip physically or emotionally. Although I gained strength and learned a lot from that situation I still think I wasted a lot of time and tears on something that went absolutely nowhere.
But in your situation if he wants to meet up again, you can ask about his relationship priorities and if he will have the time to develop something special with someone and if this is one of his top priorities.