Exclusive Dating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Exclusive Dating?
17
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 2:40pm
HI I'm new here, and I have a question about dating. Actually it is about a situation I am currently in. I met a guy onlime about five months ago. We hit it off immediatly. I knew when we first started dating that he had just ended a long term, live in relationship. After we had been dating about a week he told me that after coming off of something so serious he wanted to take a while before getting into anything too heavy again. I understood that and was OK with it. After about six weeks of dating he decided that we should see other people for awhile. I agreed to this. We have been dating for five months now, and we have a physical relationship, we spend almost every day together and at times it looks like we may be going somewhere. However, he still (not often), but occasionally goes out with women he meets online. He is always very up front and honest with me about it. The thing that bothers me, isn't that he sees other women occasionally, because I still have the option to see other men, its that he doesn't find a need to tell them about me. He says most people you meet online are dating other people and it isn't necesary to tell them who else you are seeing. However, I feel there is a big difference between dating other people and dating one person in particular for five months. Am I wrong? How would you feel if you met a guy online, started dating him and then found out he had been seeing someone steadily for an extended about of time? He's a great guy in so many ways, and I want to see if it can work, but I admit I'm almost ready to call it quits.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 2:12pm

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No wonder I'm almost 40 and never married. HA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 9:32pm

"I just straight tell them "No, your the only one I'm seeing" because really it is none of their business if we are not officially boyfriend and girlfriend (exclusive) to each other."

So you lie?

Fascinating...

T

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 8:50am

Unfortunately for you he's probably more "correct" in the assessment in the situation. Although you've been seeing him for 5 months, you two really aren't exclusive if time to time he goes out with other women or you go out with other men. So no he doesn't need to inform these other women that he's dating you for 5 months, because in the meantime he goes on dates with others too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 1:11pm
Good Lord! lol
If a person is not in an exclusive relationship with another person, they are not obligated to tell them that they are dating other people. That's their business. If your casual dating, you really don't need to tell them anything because there is no committment.
Now unless an agreement is made that they want to be boyfriend and girlfriend then of course they both need to be faithful and honest with each other and not see other people on the side.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 1:14pm

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Exactly! I agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 4:11pm
I would not continue to see that guy because if stronger feeling develop someone could get hurt. You should either be with one or the other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 9:00pm

I was in the same place with a guy last year.

Linda

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