The Explanation.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
The Explanation.....
33
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:23pm
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Edited 2/1/2006 3:25 pm ET by kae_n_me
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 7:07pm
Wow - this kind of thing is pretty foreign to me, so I guess the only thing I can say is, if you want to be with him, you'll find a way to deal. I guess my only question is, how long are you going to be there to support him?




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 8:03pm

Nope.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 9:44pm

This is for all here... I think things tend to get misconstrued or misunderstood when we take just pieces of the conversation and comment on a sentence or two. Please remember, this is a message board and all advice should be taken with a grain of salt. Most folks here want to help, not hurt or hinder and give advice based upon their own experiences and upbringings. Take it for what it's worth, from where it comes and realize that at the end of the day, only one person's opinion matters--yours.


Again, this is meant for all and I am in no way calling out any one poster from this thread. As always, feel free to email me if you'd like to discuss this further.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 10:44pm

<< do you have kids with any of your exes? B/c if not then "ex drama" is not the same as your "ex drama".... When kids are involved its a whole different ballpark. He and I are both single parents and we both know what it's like to have no support from our ex's in reguards to our children>>

My question is: Where was his son while Teddy, his ex were fighting because neither of them wanted him that night? Where was he when his father got hauled off to jail?

I don't have kids but I've seen enough of this with my sister and her ex to last a lifetime. Believe me this is nothing you want touching you or ultimately your son if this relationship continues to progress, because his crazy ex will never go away.

Yes, I'm being negative here, but after reading through this thread, I can't stop thinking about that boy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 8:04am
=


Edited 2/1/2006 3:33 pm ET by kae_n_me
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:26am
Why do you always think it's negative feedback just because it's something you don't agree with, something you don't want to hear or otherwise is not in line with your thought processes?


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:56am

"Besides drama keeps things interesting... I don't want to be in a boring relationship where things are so cut and dry and there is not room for entertainment"

There's a BIG difference between entertainment and violence. This is your life and you can and will do what you want, but this statement is kind of ridiculous. My boyfriend and have ZERO drama in our relationship, and it's anything but boring. It's happy, stable, and mature.

Good luck to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:56am
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Edited 2/1/2006 3:34 pm ET by kae_n_me
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:57am
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Edited 2/1/2006 3:35 pm ET by kae_n_me
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 12:14pm

<<>>

And I suspect that the ones you personally think are "really" support are those written either as "rah-rah" posts or say what you want to hear.

Just because some posts are written in a way you don't personally like, doesn't mean someone else may not find them helpful.

Let me give an example. I ride in clinics with some of my favorite trainers, one of whom is the coach of the US Equestrian Team (and my old boss). Some people are afraid to ride with him because he can be harsh. If you need to lose 20 lbs, he'll tell you you're fat. If you repeatedly make the same mistake and don't listen or try to fix things the way he tells you to, he'll tell you you're stupid.

On the other hand, the man is a genious and taking just a gleaning of knowledge from his lessons is worth every penny.

The least talented rider who tries hard will get praise from him, just as the most talented who doesn't put in any effort will get shredded.

So you do hear complaints from riders - he was so meeeean to me.

Or you hear - he was so hard on me, and it was just what I needed.

Which rider do you think is going to succeed?

So back to the posts - it's all about intent - NOT the intent of the writer, but the intent of the recipient, and how they choose to accept or reject what's written.

Maybe some pepole should preface their posts with something like "I don't want advice, just hugs and molly coddling". Then they won't get what they consider negative feedback.