The Explanation.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
The Explanation.....
33
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:23pm
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Edited 2/1/2006 3:25 pm ET by kae_n_me

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:18pm

Why do you keep allowing the men in your life to make the decision whether or not they remain in the relationship? Where is your decision? I think you hold your breath while dating because you wait till the man leaves. Have you ever truly broken up with someone? This relationship with this man is far short of what you want and expect but you continue and when he disappears for a few days (and I would definitely demand to see the black fingers from being fingerprinting for proof of this BTW) you immediately are angered.

Have you seeked counseling for all of this??

Fluffy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:56pm

Kae, I commend you for standing by him while he works this situation out with his Ex. I have to be honest when I state that because of past hurts, etc. I'm very critical about what a man tells me and how he behaves so my advice will show this. It takes a while for me to really trust someone, and based upon what you have shared about Teddy, I'm just a bit leery! His behavior at the party w/the so-called friend, his disappearing acts, limited access on his cell phone; not finalizing date plans whereas you have to call the day off to confirm, no-show, no call on previous dates, etc. are clear signs of a man not seeking a very healthy relationship; but yet you are graciously standing by him and being accepting. Possibly you have mentioned to him that you don't appreciate certain behaviors but this incident with the Ex, is major drama! If you take the Ex out of the equation, I don't see where this man is courting you in a way of cultivating a healthy relationship. You seem to be very accommodating and accepting; whereas he keeps bringing more drama to the table.

Girlfriend, the best friend you can be to him right now, is to give him space to get his life in order. If he wants to call and share his ups and downs and you want to provide an ear to listen cool, but the reality is this man is NOT ready for a relationship. Spend time w/your son and don't waste your time going to the court's with him. Trust me, this process will take some time to iron out and as stated, I think you guys have one-on-one issues that need to be addressed before incorporating the problems of the EX!!

Good luck to you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:58pm

"His behavior at the party w/the so-called friend, his disappearing acts, limited access on his cell phone;"

You must have me confused with someone else-this never happened to Teddy and I....???

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