To facebook??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2012
To facebook??
5
Mon, 10-29-2012 - 11:51pm

So I have a bit of a question for all of you.....

I posted a profile on this dating site but never subscribed for a membership. It was a small site and there was really only one person on there that I was interested in. The "romantic" in me got too practical thinking that I didn't want to waste the money to message just one guy. I kind of forgot all about this for a few months, only to get an email the other day for a free 3 day trial membership. Since I recently got out of a relationship, I was like "what the heck" and I registered, only to find that the only guy that I was interested in before had messaged me-- 6 months ago. From the looks of his profile it looks like he hasn't logged on in quite a while and probably doesn't have a membership anymore. I responded to his message just in case and gave him my email because I wasn't planning on lasting longer than the free trial.

My curiosity got the best of me though and by some weird crazy luck, I was able to find him on facebook. Would it be weird of me to message him? Of course, I originally thought-- no way! Total psycho stalker move. But then another part of me is thinking-- why not? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I know it's been a while. And who knows, he could be in a relationship or he could have moved. But his profile showed potential and when I saw his message, I was really bummed that I missed that opportunity. 

So tell me people of ivillage-- would you facebook message or not? And if you would-- how do you not sound like a super stalker??

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 11:31am

I would message him for sure. Worst that can happen is he tells you thanks but no thanks.

As for how to word it, I think if you simply explained to him like you explained to us, you would not come across like a stalker. Your story would check out since he knows he was on that dating site during that time. I think he would be flattered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 4:35pm

Can you explain how you found him on FB so you don't sound like a crazy stalker?  lol  I know some guys are silly enough to give their actual name as their profile name plus where they live, so if he did something like that it would be easy to find.  If you had to do a lot of detective work, it would sound kind of obssessive.  Then you could go on to say that you saw him on the site and were only doing the trial membership.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 6:22pm

I agree,  HOW did you find him?  I am not too familiar with Facebook but it seems like there is **no** way to search by zip code or name of city/town.  I thought the only way to find your friends is by typing in their email.

That is what I did to this guy who I met online, we exchanged yahoo or whatever email addys, so I searched for him that way but only to find that he is still friends with his ex and still flirts with her or he flirts back when she flirts first or maybe they are back together......  be careful what you may find.  Brace yourself. At least now I have learned my lesson.  Forget about FB if you are already emailing elsewhere.  I've seen alot of info and pictures being public.  There had to be a technical glitch with Facebook and it made everything public.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 6:22pm

I agree,  HOW did you find him?  I am not too familiar with Facebook but it seems like there is **no** way to search by zip code or name of city/town.  I thought the only way to find your friends is by typing in their email.

That is what I did to this guy who I met online, we exchanged yahoo or whatever email addys, so I searched for him that way but only to find that he is still friends with his ex and still flirts with her or he flirts back when she flirts first or maybe they are back together......  be careful what you may find.  Brace yourself. At least now I have learned my lesson.  Forget about FB if you are already emailing elsewhere.  I've seen alot of info and pictures being public.  There had to be a technical glitch with Facebook and it made everything public.

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 9:25am

trail-girl wrote:
<p>I agree,  HOW did you find him?  I am not too familiar with Facebook but it seems like there is **no** way to search by zip code or name of city/town.  I thought the only way to find your friends is by typing in their email.</p><p>That is what I did to this guy who I met online, we exchanged yahoo or whatever email addys, so I searched for him that way but only to find that he is still friends with his ex and still flirts with her or he flirts back when she flirts first or maybe they are back together......  be careful what you may find.  Brace yourself. At least now I have learned my lesson.  Forget about FB if you are already emailing elsewhere.  I've seen alot of info and pictures being public.  There had to be a technical glitch with Facebook and it made everything public.</p>

no, you can search for someone using their name and their town/zip code.  it will populate with all the people with that first name who live in that area whose accounts are public.