Falling fast and hard...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Falling fast and hard...
7
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 12:56am
hey everyone, well i met a guy about 2 weeks ago online and we hit it off so good. I never felt like this with anyone, its weird and hard to explain. We started off just talking as friends, than our feelings came out on how we really felt for eachother. I feel so good when im talking to him, the world just stops(time flies so quick) and i get warm tingling feelings, he knows the right thing to say all the time, and were alot alike. He wants to come meet me in about a month, and i think its a great idea. I am just having a hard time falling for a guy i never met!? its so weird. Does this stuff actually work, like is it possible to fall inlove online to someone you never met, lol. I just dont get it, can anyone explain this odd thing for me, hehe. thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 6:49am

Is it possible? Yes, anything is possible. Just be careful. In many cases, when feelings grow so quickly without meeting, it's setting yourself up for a fall. Though you have a great connection via email/phone it is possible that you'll meet him and have zero chemistry in person. It's happened to me a few times. So I would be very careful of telling yourself that you are falling for him until you meet. Breathe and keep yourself grounded. And get to that first meet ASAP!


Hope this helps.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 9:53am

I think it's "possible" to fall in love (in a way) before meeting, but beware that there is a lot connected with actually seeing and being around a person in the flesh. No amount of phone calls or e-mails can take the place of actually meeting someone. I think that is why so many on the board encourage meeting them as soon as you can. I tend to want to e-mail & instant message a while before actually talking on the phone. But after I've talked to them on the phone a couple times, I'm usually ready to meet them--that doesn't mean they always follow through on the meeting part. Some say they want to meet but never find the time to actually do that part of the deal. This is where I get let down in this game of OLD.

I have heard the stories where people talked on the phone for months before meeting (some never having seen a picture of the other person) and when they met, it was like a fairytale. They get married & live happily ever after. I must admit that I think that happens far fewer times than most people realize. There is a lot greater potential for meeting and then finding out that the person is not at all what you expected and quite different in person. So I would be very cautious about falling for anyone you haven't met yet. Meet the guy and then come back and tell us what happens.

P.S. I had to learn the hard way that when a budding relationship seems to be going so well so quickly, even after you meet, that it can burn out as fast as it started. Some guys will try to charm you and try to make you think "they" are falling for you when they are more interested in getting you into bed than they are in having a real relationship. One of my online meets came on pretty strong and I was flattered and overwhelmed at the same time. I fooled myself into thinking that his attention and interest would last more than 3 dates, but it didn't. He was a classic player. If I could do or say anything to keep someone else from being hurt like I was in that situation, I would. It was a real eye-opener.




Edited 1/20/2006 10:04 am ET by mitsy2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 11:41am

I don't think it's possible to have true, real feelings of love for someone that you haven't met much less have really only been chatting with two weeks. I think you can have strong feelings of infatuation and fondness, but until you spend time with someone, you don't really know them. 99% of the time, chemistry online or on the phone doesn't translate to real life. Unfortunate, but true. That's not to say that you two won't be that 1% so who knows?

I suggest trying to push up the meeting if at all possible. You definitely need to meet and see if your chemistry crosses over in real life. And between now and the meeting, try to keep grounded and realize that you are currently in "love" with the fantasy and persona of him not the real him. Try to not have 3 hour long phone conversations or IM sessions. Things like that only fuel the fantasy. I hope it works out and that you have a great connection, but try to stay realistic and have moderate expectations. Good luck!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 1:27pm
The joy of the net...it's awesome when you get that spark. But really, I think it's more of a matter of being in love with the possiblity, the chance that this may be something interesting...more than the person. Everyone wants to connect with someone - or we wouldn't all be on this board - so when you get a hit - it's a great feeling. I agree with the other advice - ground yourself....it sucks to have the whole wedding planned and then the person turns out to be a dud. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 3:22pm

Hello iv-


I did the exact same thing...felt the exact same way.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 12:10am
hi everyone, thank you so much for the great advice, i will follow it.We are planning to meet next month, so i hope we have the chemistry we have now, if not than oh well, lesson learnt, haha, i will keep posted to what happends, hope its good news
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 10:25am
Me Too!

CL-Truewild1969


For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;


http://cl-jhoover21-ivil.tripod.com/



Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.



CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;