falling in love

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
falling in love
7
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 9:11am


Does any of you experience that falling in love through online dating ? (if you think that you meet a match).

Hm ... even before you meet the person, exchange emails, phone calls or photos.

Grace

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:39am

I really don't think that is possible. I think that its easy to fall in love with the IDEA of love, you fall in love with an image, a fantasy you create in your mind. Fantasy "love" is often the easiest, you never have to cope with dealing with someone on a day to day basis and all their idiosyncrasies. Relationships are hard and require real one-on-one work to be successful.

BTW I would seriously be questioning their honesty if I have never even seen their picture or talked to them on the phone.

GM

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 2:35pm
It's very true, pizza. That is not love. It is fantasy, infatuation, limerance... it is a fleeting trick your heart plays on your head. We all have to learn to be strong enough to wade through all that, despite how powerful it may seem, and find what is real.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 2:47pm

In two words, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Are you saying that you have fallen in love with a profile?? That's what it sounds like. You have not met, not exchanged emails not talked on the phone or even seen what he looks like??? Have you communicated in any way? Just curious because this seems extremely odd to me.

Falling in love takes a considerable amount of time spent together talking, getting to know each other in person. You have fallen for a fantasy if you fall in love without meeting someone. If you are talking about an actual situation, exchange pictures, emails and phone numbers ASAP. Meet in person as soon as you feel comfortable to see if there is a connection. More often than not, that online connection you feel does not translate to real life.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 7:40pm

O.k! i agree with all you of you do. We have exchange emails and phone conversion, and a lot of pictures. We can able to hear each other's voice and faces (through online chatting). until you really met the person

In fact, i met him at a coffee shop today. we have good conversion, to me it is a instant attraction.

Pizza

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:14pm

Good. A face to face meeting is a great first step. And it is great that you have an attraction for each other. But take it one step at a time and move slowly. Read caringone2004's posts for a good example of what can happen if you move too fast with an online meet into saying "I love you" or things like that. If you two are meant to be, you have all the time in the world and don't need to rush things. But as we've all said, you cannot be in love instantly. You can have an infatuation and an attraction, but give it a few weeks to see how it goes.

Good luck!!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:50am

You can have feelings, infatuations etc.

You cannot love someone unless you know them and EXPERIENCE real life WITH them.

It aint real love unless you get to know them and you cannot know someone unless you are in a REAL LIFE WITH THEM and truly for at least a year and a half (in my opinion) at least. Until you see them interact with others, deal with situations, mannerisms, conduct, how they handle work, finances, people who they admire, how they treat you when posed with regular everyday life....not just in an easy, no obligation, not even a shower-required, phone or internet communication where you know if ZERO is even 50% true or if even meaning behind words have the connotation THEY mean let alone your interpretation.

Can you tell Ive learned this lesson both the easy and the hard way . Move the relationship into real life and off the internet and phone as QUICK as possible. (And keep it there...hate when those pesky "couples" that conduct their relationship after its moved to real, with far too much time playing in a chat room together). Helloo fantasy lol and reality avoidance LOL.

If its not possible, one of you or both of you are not ready to be in a healthy love relationship anyway..whether it be geographically, physical reasons, marital status reasons (LOL), financial reasons or ...mental reasons.

More than my 2 cents worth (forgive me),
Lizzie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 11:14am
Good luck, but beware the instant feeling of falling in love...it sounds as though you're experiencing a lovely, intense feeling...but I would warn you not to put too much stake in it...at this point, you don't really know what's going on.