Fantastic Date + Great Connection = Hug?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Fantastic Date + Great Connection = Hug?
Sat, 08-16-2003 - 5:36am
Ok. What's wrong with this picture?

This guy took the first approach in looking up my profile, and since neither of us paid for the site, we ended up playing "Profile-Looking Tag". Since we know who has viewed our profiles, we were able to see that we had been looking at each other's ad daily.

Finally I forked out the money to subscribe to the site, and then took the initiative to contact him. He responded. So far so good, right?

I finally gave him my cell number and he called. We talked for over 2 hrs. Then he called again the next day. I had asked him whether he would accompany me to some summer festival in the city the next day. He said he would love to join me. However, we made plans to go out for a date that night. The date lasted for about 4 hrs. He's an amazing guy with fantastic good looks. I'm smitten!

Anyway, I felt a connection, but at the end of the date, he just walked me up to my doorstep and gave me a hug. I so wanted to kiss him there but didn't dare make the approach in case he wasn't interested. He didn't even mention the details for supposedly "tomorrow's" date.

Can I just assume he didn't feel the mutual connection? Not only did he JUST give me a hug, he didn't even tell me that he'll call me. But guys dont mean it even if they say they'll call, right?

Did I somehow look different than my pics? I gave him recent pics to prepare him.. so I dont know what I did wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-16-2003 - 7:56am
You didn't do anything wrong - if he doesn't call it is because there was not enough chemistry in person to start a romance as opposed to a friendship. When I did on line dating I limited my phone conversations typically to 20 minutes, sent one or two emails and met for coffee on the first date - no matter how good the connection on the phone or in person (email or me doesn't count in the least as far as being able to tell if there is chemistry - phone helps a teensy bit only) - I never expected a second date or was particularly upset if there wasn't because I never let myself get attached that early. If ther was no call and nothing obvious that went wrong I just assumed he was not attracted to me. Pictures don't show body language or energy or eye contact or vibes, so they are only marginally helpful, IMHO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Sat, 08-16-2003 - 10:31am
Relax, don't assume there was not a mutual attraction based on the way the evening ended. He sounds very respectful which is a good sign. Personally, I don't want a kiss on the initial meeting, I just want to see if there is reason to go out a second time. Generally, I've found a guy will ask for a 2nd date, but it is perfectly acceptable to give it a couple of days and see if he follows up by phone or email. If he does not contact you, then move on. Good luck!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 5:55pm
Welcome twinkle. Hey? MY email is twinklelitlestar!!! lol CUTE! Love it. I have two boys, choice of email. Anywho! I would say that you should just wait this out and see, like the others say! I mean, who is to say he is not just being polite and not wanting to send off a bad vibe by running his tongue down your throat right off. Just be cool for a bit, and even if he does not call or email you, it is his loss sister. Move on. IT happens. SOme people are not as honest and open, but that does not mean you cannot try again. His loss. I repeat. You should be confident in yourself and move on and not worry so much over one man. There are too many out there to worry with just one. giggles.

OH, and welcome!! Hope you stick around!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 6:27pm
Here is my take on this-never read too much into anything (oh, if only I could follow my own advice) and give it some time. Who knows why they take so long to call, or what is going through their minds when you seem to be having a great date and they don't respond the way you think they should. Just be patient-and try not to freak-if it is meant to work out, you'll hear from him. If not, delete/next. If you found this great of a guy, you can certainly find another one online just as great if not better. Good luck