Feeling REALLY shallow
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| Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:59am |
My profile must have rotated to the top again, because I had 45 winks this morning.
I automatically deleted all the long distance ones.
I automatically deleted the ones with no pic.
I looked at the rest. About 3 were obviously married and looking for some extra curricular activity.
I was left with about 10 REALLY unattractive men. I mean grossly unattractive. Like live under a bridge unattractive.
And of course I make this all about me. WHAT makes these guys think I'd be remotely interested? Why don't normal, average guys wink at me?
I think it's time for a profile update that lets my inner b!$@# shine through. Make it clear that I'm not going to respond to anyone without a pic, more than 100 miles away, over the age of 43, and if your momma was confused about which end the diaper went on, don't bother.
Does that make me a shallow person?


No, it doesn't make you shallow, but such a negative profile will make you unattractive to good guys who might otherwise contact you, while doing nothing to stop the emails from guys you don't want to hear from.
Sheri
Look! The Sarcasm Bird flying over Sheri's head....
LOL
Sorry, there was nothing in your post indicating tone (which is really hard to convey in written form, anyway), so I took it at face value. I thought you were really asking for feedback on what you were proposing to write in your profile.
Sheri
I agree with Sheri. I have seen plenty of times where a woman writes an interesting and sweet-sounding profile and then ends it with a major declaration of Who Should NOT Contact Her; it makes her sound like a *shuuuuudddddderr* rabid cat.
However, I have seen something like this written (which I didn't think was bad): Just like you, I only have a small amount of time to visit this site. Pleases don't be offended if I feel we are not a match and don't reply to your email.
I don't see what something like wanting somebody in your area has to do with shallowness. As far as caring about looks, I don't think it makes you shallow unless you make it the only or the main thing you're looking for in a mate. Whether or not we want to admit to it, it's human nature to be influenced by looks, and I think even people who say that looks don't matter to them are subconsciouly influenced by it.
I know when I was younger, I wanted to believe that I was beyond caring about how guys look. I'd make on-line dates with guys and get excited because I had good conversations with them before we met in person. Then when we'd meet face to face, they weren't my type at all physically, and I couldn't feel any attraction to them, I'd wonder what was wrong with me.
I know sometimes people become more physically attractive when we like their personalities. And I still believe that what's on the inside is more important. But as long as you're not making "good looks" the primary thing you're searching for, I don't think it's shallow to admit that looks will matter in who you're attracted to.
"I think it's time for a profile update that lets my inner b!$@# shine through."
LOL I've got one of those too, and sometimes she wants to email some of those same types of men you listed and simply say, "only in your dreams buster". But look at it this way, even if they are not remotely your type, at least you know they have good taste.
I think JAHD posted a great way to get your point across if you do decide to change your profile.
Libra
"such a negative profile will make you unattractive to good guys who might otherwise contact you, while doing nothing to stop the emails from guys you don't want to hear from."
LOL
You're not being shallow- you're being sensible. Only you know what works best for you. There's positively nothing wrong with wanting to date someone within a reasonable distance or age radius.
And looks? That's pretty important where making a physical connection is concerned. Heck, I've "tried" dating people I haven't found very attractive in the past, and despite having a good personality, it just didn't work. And as much as I hate hearing the word "chemistry", it does have relevance.
So trust your gut and be as choosy as you feel you need to be. There's no sense in settling for someone who isn't right for you and thinking you could've done better :) Ha! now didn't THAT sound shallow :)
ROFL!!! Oh sisfox, this was too funny! Live under the bridge unattractive and if your momma is confused about which end the diaper goes on......oh my goodness, I'm cracking up!! That was truly hilarious -- really enjoyed that.
Okay, now to the subject matter.....(smile)
Wow, 45 winks....I NEVER got that many in one day!
Regardless of emailing and/or telephone calls, there has to be a physical attraction or VIBE when you meet the person in person.
Most of the "live under the bridge" guys on OLD are usually seeking companionship like the rest of us and are hopeful (or prayerful) that possibly a cutie will see past their physical attributes. Can't knock them for trying and I would bet a few get lucky!
As far as the ones with no pic. Usually, no pic means no response. I have made exceptions, if there profile content is cool, I will write requesting a pic and some have sent them to me!! Yep, some have been cuties! (smile)
Nah, you are not shallow..................but EXTREMELY FUNNY!!!!