Finally got a picture...now what do I do

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Finally got a picture...now what do I do
13
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 4:09pm

Okay I would like some advice on how to delicately handle a situation. I was emailing a guy this morning. I asked for a picture. At first he said he didn't have one. I then repsonded by telling him that unless there is a picture I would not meet him. Finally he sent it. I was not attracted to him at all. I have not responded yet. I just got an email that stated "Did I scare you off? Was my picture that bad?" His picture was not bad, but I just don't find him attractive enough to continue. What would you do?

Thanks in advance!!!!

Jodie

 

http://tickers.ticke

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 4:12pm

"Your picture isn't bad - just not my type"

BLOCK

People without pictures who email take that risk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 5:13pm

gosh i think ive gone thru that exact same senario a few times. what i did was write him back. Although he probably didn't like the answer, he deserved to hear an explanation after I had requested a picture. I would say "you are cute, but i don't feel like there would be an attraction on my side. Thank you for sending". very brief and complimentary. Although maybe I didn't find him cute, no one is so horrible that they don't deserve a "you're cute" statement.

hopefully you do write him back. im sure he'll appreciate it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 8:12pm

What LG said. It's dating; you're within your rights to want to see a pic before deciding. If you don't like the looks, don't go out. You don't have to say "you are butt ugly and I wouldn't set you up with the hairball my cat coughed up the other day", but you should just say "I'm not scared, but I can tell you right off that we're just not a match. Good luck."

He should be able to figure it out. Blocking won't hurt, either, but if you don't and he responds with anything other than "Okay, good luck" then you can get progressively more and more blunt like "well, you're just not my type".

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 9:17am

<>

Great line, NGOL! Too bad I'm too nice to use it. :)

I agree - anyone who doesn't post a picture is taking the very likely chance of being rejected based on looks. It's why I didn't even consider doing OLD until I got a decent pic. I usually ignore photo-less responses, but a couple times I did say, "please send a photo" and it really puts you in an awkward position if you're not attracted to them looks-wise. I like surfer girl's response.




Edited 3/1/2005 9:21 am ET ET by icarrie141
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 9:26am

Jodie,

I also like SG's response. He will also probably realize he should just post a pic and then at least get responses from women who like his looks initially. It is the risk taken from emailing pics instead of having them posted on the profile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 11:07am

I am now hanging my head in shame.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 1:01pm

Hi Jodie,

I was in that same place about a week ago; he im'd me from my Yahoo profile, the conversation went very well there. I asked for a photo, he balked. Then, got ugly, and I got suspicious, he said "are you more interested in seeing my photo or meeting Me?" Me-to th'-Ow!

He did send a photo a bit later because I said it was only fair, as he had seen mine on my profile there. On nooo.....I wrote back that I preferred men above 5'10", and he was 5'5". No uglies, just the truth. I did not say "you are not", I said "I prefer", end o story, si?

Nope, he got really nasty and that is when...cue the anvil noise from the Roadrunner cartoon....Block Happened!

You Get to have your "druthers"!

Ding! Next!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:33am

Well here is what I did........He wasn't ugly at all. Just not my type. He wrote me again yesterday and asked if his picture was ugly? I simply responded and told him that "On the contrary he is quite handsome, however I am attracted to a more rugged type of guy. Thanks for the interest and best of luck". He responded by saying that he appreciated the honesty and would like to continue writing as friends. I then blocked him.

Thanks for all your input. It is hard when you have to be the "Not so nice" guy.

Jodie

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:45am

>>He responded by saying that he appreciated the honesty and would like to continue writing as friends. I then blocked him.

I love it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:00am

Well done Jodie! I like the way you handled it. I like the word "handsome" instead of "cute" (no offense intended sg77). But I think when you get over 30, being told you are "cute" seems a little demeaning. And in this situation, you also can't say he is "attractive" because he is not to you.

But yup, loved the line and loved the block!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

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