finally!
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| Sun, 04-22-2007 - 2:02pm |
Hi all.
Finally! I have somebody who's asking me out for lunch.
Ok...so what's the problem? Well, I'm not really that into him. Why not, you ask? He's handsome, but, well, English isn't his first language, so I see a language/communication barrier between us.
I told him in my last email to him that I'm looking for someone more Americanized and that we can just be friends. He agreed to it (I just hope he understood what I meant! lol).
He lives in the neighborhood over from me, so I'm thinking of asking him for coffee instead of lunch.
Am I doing the right thing or am I leading him on? I don't think I'm leading him on...for this guy, I truly want to be his friend WITHOUT the option.
So, should I go for it or no? I need the practice anyway for when I actually do go out for real for coffee with a guy I'm really into. And anyway, I could use more friends in my life.
I have another question to ask, but I'll save that for next time...Please bear with me on this and my other posts because this is my first...no wait, second time I've been asked out (the first time, I turned the guy down because I really wasn't into him either). And I haven't been in the dating world for over a decade (been doing the OLD for about 7-8 months now).
Thank you for all of your opinions/advice.

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If he states that he is OK with friends then I see no problem.
I would think that most of us want to spend the time and money looking for a lover/partner instead of a opposite gender friend.
Mark
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Thanks, Mark, for your reply.
There's different ways of reading that statement you typed, but I see what you're saying.
My other question I was going to ask was what should I wear to a weekend coffee "date" with an opposite gender friend? Do I go casual (jeans and sneakers) or should I make an effort to look nice (jeans and heeled shoes)? I know, it's just a meet between friends...
I have to agree with the others.
If you make it clear that you are interested in him as a friend only and are not looking for any romantic developments, then you're being honest with him and the choice becomes his as to whether he wants to proceed. If you do not let him know this up front, then in my book, you're not really being fair to your date... or to yourself.
Also, if you two *do* meet, be sure to pay for your share!! If you think that might be awkward, you could arrive a little early and buy your coffee before he arrives. That makes it really easy. :)
vexer --
Thank you for asking me what my decision was because I'm in another predicament.
I told him that we could go for coffee instead of lunch. Thing is (and this is true), my sister is flying to NYC towards the end of the week (which is actually today). So, I would let him know if we can have coffee this weekend.
He writes back, "sure. that sounds will be great. you can ask you sister to come out for a coffee if she dont mind."
Does that sound weird to you? What came to my mind when I read that was - ask my sister to come along so he can ask her out instead? I know it's a coffee "date" between two "friends", but still...asking my sister to come along?
I think I'll tell him that I can't make it this weekend (which is the truth because I really want to spend time with my sister) and if he asks again, I think I'll tell him we can't be friends. After that statement, it makes him look like a weirdo.
Perhaps I'm taking this the wrong way? What do you all think? Should I go through with this coffee "date" (sans my sister)? I don't know if you all know how I'm feeling right about now -- maybe the word is a little "disgusted"?
Actually, I don't see that as strange at all.
OMG! The guy is just trying to be nice, for crying out loud!
<<...The guy is just trying to be nice, for crying out loud!>>
vexer, k3of3, and Sheri: thank you for smacking me around (haha)
I will continue to have coffee with the guy...although, it'll most definitely have to be next weekend because I really want to see my sister.
I will keep you posted on what happens. I'll probably end up spilling coffee on myself...or even worse, on him! (haha) I'm gonna be a nervous wreck...
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