Finding out what he's looking for ...

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Finding out what he's looking for ...
33
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 8:39pm

So I've had a bit of success with the online dating thing. I've been seeing someone for a little over a month. Our first date was on June 5. On our fifth date things got a bit more intimate than I wanted. This happened again on the sixth date. While I see the advantage of waiting, I just can never seem to do it ... We haven't actually had intercourse ... no clothes taken off ... no oral sex. (Sorry to get so graphic.)(We're talking third base here, for those of you who are 1950's minded.)

I'm appealing to the board because I'm really clueless about these things. What's a good way to find out if the man I'm seeing is interested in a serious relationship or just a fling? He's acting like he wants a serious relationship. He asks me out early in the week, takes me out, pays, opens doors for me, and has started calling every day. But I'm really not sure what he's looking for exactly because we haven't discussed it.

We also haven't discussed our prior relationships. Maybe that would be a good start. I just don't know. I'm afraid if I ask for a relationship too soon that he'll bolt. But then again, if he does, maybe I don't want him, right? I'd like to get to know him better and given our recent activity I'd like to be exclusive. Is it too soon to ask for that?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 6:12pm

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I find this very hard to believe

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 9:11am

I found it odd, since he soon made it clear he was hoping for marriage with me when we barely knew each other. This is the guy who told me on the 3rd date that he loved me. I just got the impression that he really wanted to get married again and wasn't too picky to whom.
He kept saying we had so much in common, when trust me, we didn't. He wanted it to be true though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 9:13am

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I find this very hard to believe>

She was younger (early 30s - he's 47) which may have had something to do with it. I've actually met a lot of young women who do just want to date for awhile without getting serious with a guy.
Of course, she could've just been telling him that because she just wasn't that into him :)

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