first date - did I do it right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
first date - did I do it right?
5
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 3:27pm

Hi,

I just had the first date with a guy I recently met online. I think overall it went pretty well, except for a few things that I don't know if I handled appropriately.

First of all, he asked me if I've had many dates in the area yet. I just moved here 2 months ago and just started the online dating thing, the answer was no - he was actually the first person I met in-person. I told him honestly, and when he gave me the questioning look, I told him that I am just picky. :P The problem is, I have more dates lining up, which I totally forgot until I said it. Plus I was really answering his question. Do I need to tell him that I go on other dates next time, so he won't think that I was lying to him when he finds out?

I had a great time with him, and I can tell that he did too. He kept saying that we should do this again, and that next time he'll find a quieter place (we were in a loud Irish pub), etc etc. Towards the end of the date, I mentioned that my parents will be visitng me next week and that they'll stay until after the weekend. Then he said, "oh, so I won't be able to see you for at least a week then" Without thinking, I just blurted out that I'll be in the area since I need to pick up my parents from the airport next week (at night) - he lives very close to the airport. So he suggested that we can meet up for dinner, before picking up my parents. I should be happy about getting the 2nd date, right? But now I don't know if he was just doing it out of politeness, since I sort of forced it on him... Maybe the better thing to do would be to just wait one week and see if he calls me... :(

I may be reading way too much into this... but I've had 2 very long-term relationships (5 years each) in the past, back to back and I've never been on a proper date before. I am clueless on how it works (at age 28!) and I probably heard too much about "The Rules"... If anyone can provide me some insights, or tell me if I did anything inappropriately, I'd appreciate it. Thanks in advance!

J.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 7:15pm
I think we could all second guess what we say and do. I do it plenty myself. Frankly, I think that as long as your honest, you can't go wrong. If he is interested in yu, he was probably happy to hear the interest on your part as well. He could have taken your comments about being unavailable for a week as lack of interest too. If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have suggested getting together or he'll bail out of it. Try to relax and just see what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 10:08pm
You are reading too much into it. I've never read "The Rules" but I think it was geared more for people that tend to act too much like door mats. Which you are definitely "NOT". Stop trying to figure out his every motive and move and just take his request for a 2nd date at face value. He's obviously into you.
hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 9:00am

Yeah I think you are way overanalyzing this date.

Stop rehashing every word. You didn't force him into a thing if he didn't want to take you out he'd say he was busy that night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 12:01pm

Hey.. thanks for those who replied. I guess I'll just go there on Tuesday and see what happens. :)

Yesterday I met with another guy for the first time, and it had a disasterous start. I had to go to a dinner party, and was supposed to meet with him afterwards at 8:30pm. So I was paying attention to the wall clock the whole time (it was right in front of me...) and at 8:15pm I told the host that I've gotta go and meet someone. He said "oh, maybe I should've mentioned earlier, but the clock is one hour behind... we never adjusted it" At first I thought he was joking, but when I checked my own watch it was 9:15pm!! I called the guy immediately and explained the situation. Amazingly he was still waiting there! So I rushed down there and we talked for an hour and a half. It went well, but I was thinking that I wouldn't be surprised if I never hear from him again. I mean, I would've been pissed if I had to wait one hour for someone on the first date... But this morning I received his email and he wants to go out again! LOL. Just thought that it was so funny. :P I'll make sure to be on-time this time. :P

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:00pm

Hey girls,

This is kind of urgent. So at the end of the first date, we arranged to see each other on Tuesday right? I told him that I'll call him. Well, I just called his cell phone two hours ago and nobody answered. I left a message saying that I just wanted to say hi and see if he's still up for tomorrow. So far I haven't heard from him yet. I am starting to worry... what if I don't hear from him by tomorrow? Should I call or email him again tomorrow, or should I just wait? We are supposed to meet tomorrow for dinner... I hope he does call eventually because I had such a good time, and the way he acted led me to believe that he did too. I am not sure what to do now... Am I too obssessed? I don't want to feel this way. :( It was just one date and I already got my hopes up too high already. :( Some advice please.

J.