first date jitters

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2006
first date jitters
3
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 2:23pm

How do you handle the first date jitters. I have been emailing this guy for about two weeks, off and on. He has asked me to meet him tonight, but since he just asked me today, I already have things planned for tonight. So I don't want to discourage him but then again, would like to be asked a little ahead of time. Also I am very apprehensive about meeting him as I think that his standards of what he wants is kind of higher then what I am. I mean he is looking for someone that is slender, athletic and toned, average, he says but I don't know ,his emails sound a little like he is looking for kind of a barbie type but he has seen my pic, I am 5'2" and weigh around 128 so I put average. Guess I just am nervous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
In reply to: tsue4u
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 3:50pm

This sounds like more than "first date jitters."

Did you tell him you already had plans for today? I think if you haven't already accepted, you might tell him you can't meet him today but that you'd be happy to meet him tomorrow or some other day next week (depending on your schedule). If he is really interested, he'll be okay with meeting you another day.

Of course you are worried about discouraging him, but he must know, realistically, that when you ask someone to meet at the last minute, they often have other plans. Rather than discouraging him, it might make him respect you.

Regarding your size and weight, if he's already seen your picture and it's current, than he is obviously okay with your size and weight which in any case is nothing to be ashamed of. If you dress in clothes that flatter and hold yourself confidently, you can compete with any "Barbie."

Good luck!

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2006
In reply to: tsue4u
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 4:25pm

Thanks for your encouragement, I like this board allot.

Yeah, I need to work on my self esteem . This will be my first date since I broke up with my ex and I was nervous about meeting him at first too. Anyways, I emailed him back and told him I had plans but that I would like to meet him sometime. He came back with a funny reply and his phone number plus he gave me his email address as his match subscription ends on the first and he isn't going to renew.

I think it is easy to be hard on ourselves, espescially when you see all these women in magazines, tv and such that are my age (forties) having great bodies and looking like their in their twenties. I know better, tell my daughter the same thing about girls she sees, and yet its hard not to wonder what others think or expect sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
In reply to: tsue4u
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 9:02pm

Yeah, it can be intimidating. Keep in mind, though, that the guys are intimidated also. Why else would so many of them lie about their height (of all things) and claim to be "athletic and toned" when they are not? Why else would so many of them disappear after planning a date? They've got as many issues as we do.

I'm glad this guy is still showing interest and has gone as far as to share his phone # and regular e-mail. Sounds like he may want you to suggest the next meeting. The gals here will tell you that the best thing is to suggest a brief "meet and greet" for coffee or something like that. (I am new here too and rely a lot on Sheri and the others for their greater wisdom.)

Anyway, good luck with it.

Elsa