First Date Protocol- ? from a guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
First Date Protocol- ? from a guy
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 1:44pm

Hi, I've been on and off of the online dating scene for a while, with brief successes here and there, but more rarely than often.

Is there any particular way women prefer the first date to be?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 3:44am

Awww... you're being modest, but I guess that's required, right?

Consider yourself winked at, flirted with, nudged, poked, or whatever you kids are calling it these days. ;-)

Actually, I'm slightly younger than you, but I usually get people guessing my age 7-10 years younger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 7:57am
Thank you. The pic is about two years old but was taken when I was attending a formal event so more make-up and care than I usually put into appearance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 2:38am


Congrats! Glad everything went well on your latest outing!

As far as the original question, I'd like to respond to the ladies out there...


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 2:16am


If your picture is "you" and fairly recent, and you are 47... then I say "wow".

You look more like 27 than 47.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 11:18pm

Hey Mr Blue, congratulations on a successful first date. I think that it doesn't really matter what you call it or where you meet-- what matters is to make sure that you can get out of it politely after no more than two hours. ;)

I've met guys for coffee and counted it as our "first date" because it extended beyond the coffee and went really well. And I have met guys for dinner and felt that it was just a meet--an interview on both sides that did not result in a successful match. I've never had a really bad experience, but when it is clear that we're not a match, and we are at a restaurant for dinner, I start talking about friendship and I insist on paying my half of the bill.

So I'd say that whether it is a date or not depends on how it evolves. It sounds to me as if you had a date.

As for the flower, my take on it is that when a guy who I haven't met gives me a flower, it is not about ME but about how he wants to appear. To me, it is not "romantic" to be given a flower when the guy doesn't really know me. It's too impersonal, like he's playing a part.

I would far rather get a flower on the second or third date, when it would feel that the guy had chosen the flower for me. On the other hand, in some cases, a flower on the second or third date may feel to some women as if the guy is getting serious too fast, so you will want to think carefully just how encouraging she has been so far.

Just my two cents...


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 4:09pm

I had a first meet/date this weekend over dinner (sans rose this time) and from what I can tell it went very well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2005
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 1:25pm

When I was

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 10:22am

I'll be the voice of dissent on a few of these.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 11:41pm

I learned the hard way to always trust my gut. So I'm glad you are following yours now.

Best of luck with future dating attempts.

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 9:19pm

I sent emails that I'd like to chat a little more or talk on the phone.