First look at online dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
First look at online dating
15
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 9:45am

Hi To Everyone,

I am in my 40's and I am soon to be separated and got ahead of myself and posted a profile on a match/dating site. No pic posted. I was mildly hounded for a pic by some charmers and gave in. One man I did not see a pic of because he had no pic posted and the other was not my type but good looking...and both charming with chat...So, I decide, though I plan on losing some weight and then, *MAYBE* meeting these guys in a couple months when I move to my home state...I email/send a slightly older pic that really doesn't look like me much anymore (I look better now due to hairstyle, etc., but I am slightly heavier now), but it is a *fairly good* pic, in my opinion, not beauty queen NOR alien or ugly, just natural (I'd give it a "7")....and both these guys must have hated it...Neither even answered the email. I did email and tell one that he would have been more poilte to at least have responded and said I wasn't his type...and the other I had to contact also, but he responded he was sorry that I was not his type but we could still chat, if I wanted. Just venting.....these guys are picky....and seem to want women a lot younger than they are. ACK! Any similar experiences?




Edited 8/8/2005 11:25 am ET ET by saralm
 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 8:08am
Certainly, many thanks for your thoughts and your time! I can definitely see how someone fragile could get hurt quickly. I was hurt for about 2 minutes. LOL. But I am not saying I totally expected it, and that is what I was doing here...venting. Truth is, I think I knew- in the back of mind, that that pic was older, not the best, and it was NOT going to cut it with either guy. It still stung a little. Especially the one that never replied at all! After all, I had a good conversation with both of them....really nice. Too bad. But neither was meant to be. I will be careful! Thanks for your concern, Sunshine!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 8:09am
Yes...it seems that way. They want women 10 or more years younger. MEN! LOL ;)
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 8:14am
Thanks for the welcome! :) I did not think they were shallow for thinking my pic was a 7 or less than a 7...I thought they were shallow for either not wanting to talk to me at all or not wanting to meet me or give me a chance because of one not so good pic...That is really it. It seems they are all in a hurry and don't want to waste time. I actually have read people say things about not wasting time. I mean, I told them I look better in person. It didn't matter, apparently. We had good conversation and that didn't matter either once they saw the pic. That is why I say shallow. I gave them a chance *even though* they were not my types, and I enjoyed the conversations. See what I mean? I do know the pic was not great. I admit that. Bad decision on my part.
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 8:16am

Thanks. I plan on posting a current photo when I do go back onto the site seriously. :) I think I will be confident even to do so when that time comes. Thanks!
P.S. Loved the line about men and getting them past their silly notions....LOL

Edited 8/9/2005 8:17 am ET ET by saralm




Edited 8/9/2005 8:18 am ET ET by saralm
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 8:53am

If you are not yet divorced...i think many men online will see 'separated' as somewhat temporary. Many good ones wouldn't want to take the chance of dating someone who is not out of their relationship yet in case you'd not finalize the divorce. Many men would also be cautious (and the same goes for females, well at least for myself, i wouldn't be interested in dating a man who was separated for anything other than sexual/friend companionship ...being honest here...and frankly i am not even doing that because "separated" online can mean nothing...as in married man period).

The best thing to do is to be honest with yourself about what you are looking for, who you are (right now) and what your intent is. Go from there.

good luck and i am glad you are posting,
Lizzie

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