First meet

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
First meet
15
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 8:14am
I've met a guy on match who seems really nice. He asked me to dinner right off the bat but my schedule wouldn't permit. My schedule is still really messy and he says he understands but he is resisting meeting on a weeknight because he says if we hit it off, he wouldn't want to cut the date short because we have to be at work the next morning. He's willing to wait until I'm free next weekend for a full-out date. My theory, going kinda from what I've read on here, is that we probably should meet one night next week just for coffee or drinks or whatever and maybe set a pre-determined time limit of an hour, then if things go well we can plan for Saturday night. Is this what everyone always does? Has anyone ever committed to dinner and regretted it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 1:23pm
On your previous question - I don't think you have done the asking since he asked you out first. You are simply saying that you feel more comfortable with a coffee/drink meet as the first meet instead of a longer evening. But since he's already put it out there, you are not actually doing any asking and as such, should not really be the one to pay. It sounds like he would be one to insist on paying anyway so you probably won't run into that.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 1:34pm

We're getting into ice cream season.

I like going for a cone on a meet. It tells me a lot about the guy.

If he gets a dish instead of a cone, he's got issues with getting a little messy and with using his tongue. Those are red flags for down the road, if you know what I mean. LOL

If he gets just plain vanilla, no imagination. See above.

If he gets the superscoop, he's making up for something lacking. See above.

If he gets the baby scoop, he's frugal.

Exception to the dish...if he gets a gooey sundae with all the works, he's a keeper.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 2:10pm
I LOVE the ice cream lesson. That's awesome! Some guy noticed in my profile that I said I like going for ice cream and e-mailed asking if I'd like to go for ice cream sometime. That really impressed me. Unfortunately he looked like someone's Uncle so, no-go, but it was a very good try! Maybe I'll suggest ice cream. One of those cool places where you pick your ice cream then pick your candy and they mix it all together on a marble slab...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 5:16pm
I went out the other night with a guy I thought had ghosted (turns out he works 60-70 hrs between 2 jobs)...we went out for dessert as he wasn't up for coffee. It was fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
In reply to: lilah_iv
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 1:23am

Hi Lilah,

Yes I did agree to dinner without having met the guy previously and I did regret it. I had to endure almost 2 hours of him talking about himself nonstop, even when the food finally arrived! I was never so happy to be done with dinner! I avoid dinner dates as first time meets usually. I also avoid meeting for drinks, as the alcohol somewhat clouds my judement a little - I'm a liteweight drinker!

Coffe meets have been good for me - I also am not a coffee drinker, so I get chai tea, hot chocolate, or hot cider. But I like these meets bbecause if there is nothig clicking, then they are easy to end and get over with! But the other ideas of getting ice cream or a dessert are good also. As the weather warms it is nice to be outside and moving. But stay around people where you will be safe.

I have never had to pay on any meet I've had in the past. But that could be my age also as I think the younger men and ladies tend to each pay their own. I would feel weird if a guy expected me to pay for mine, but I always made sure to have enough money with me just in case I needed to pay for my own. I guess it's the old fashioned girl in me, yet I also like the door opened for me and those other old fashioned things also...

The guy I am seeing now never lets me pay, and I try to here and there, yet I have gotten a few movies paid for as I had the money ready and gave it to the clerk before he had his wallet out. He tried to give me the money for the movie I paid for - I said no you always pay for everything, so he put his money away and thanked me. But he is very much a gentleman and more old school in a way. He said he wanted to get some candles for his place - so I bought him some and he really liked that, so I find little ways to do things for him also.

But it's totally up to you in how you want to go about the paying thing. Do what ever you are comfortable with. Also I would question why this guy wants to have a weekend date instead of a shorter week night thing. It sounds like he may think he is getting more than food, just be cautious as some men think that is what they are entitled to if they buy you dinner! Best of luck to you in your meet.

Sunshine

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