First meet on friday!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2004
First meet on friday!
5
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 1:27pm

I am new to the online dating scene. And I am having my first meet on friday. We're going to discuss what we're doing tonight. I was thinking of suggesting going to play pool and have a couple drinks. Does this sound ok? Anything I should be watching out for?

Do any of you have tips to calm the nerves? I tend to be kind of shy, so I am worried the nerves will make it more obvious. I just want to be myself, and see if there is anything there between us in person.

Thanks!

Cowgirl

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 1:52pm

Shooting pool is one of my favorite first dates - but not first meet.

A first meet should be brief - around 30 minutes to an hour. Coffee or maybe going for ice cream. No alcohol.

Those are my rules, YMMV.

Hope you enjoy meeting him, whatever you decide to do.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 2:34pm
Hey!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 3:08pm
I agree with the others about starting with something short like coffee, just to see if you click in person. Don't commit yourself to an evening because if you don't hit it off, extricating yourself from the situation could be awkward. I can usually tell within the first 5 minutes if this is a person I'd enjoy spending time with.
Although I've met guys at bars, I don't recommend it because alcohol and nerves don't mix well. You may know your limits but you don't know his. It's really easy to over-indulge when trying to calm your nerves and we all know the results of that;) Rules and common sense go out the window.
Just know that he's gonna be nervous too...everyone is. I tend to be a bit of a motormouth when I'm nervous, so I'm always making sure I take a deep breath and stop and really listen. Try to maintain an awareness of the balance in conversation.
Good luck and have fun!
Chele
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 3:28pm
I think pool and drinks sounds fine. As for how to get yourself to stay calm, I have a few tips. First, you should realize that everybody is nervous to a certain extant in these situations, even outgoing people so he will be pretty shy as well. Instead of thinking about your own shyness try to focus more on what you can do to put him at ease. I've also found that it helps me relax if once the conversation has started to focus on the topic of conversation rather than on how I am coming off sounding. And finally, don't take any of this too seriously. Realize that he's just one of many guys that you will probably be meeting, and if the two of you don't hit it off that that's perfectly normal and okay. Don't let it matter to you too much. Just view it as practice in talking to new guys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 6:47pm

I think pool and a drinks may be ok. But this is your first meet, so you may want to start with something more tame, like the coffee idea. My first ever meet was for dinner. Just long enough for the guy to fall for me, and for me to realize he must be out of his damn mind. I should have listened to do just coffee, maybe he wouldn't have taken to me so much and I wouldn't have to deal with it. Just a hint. But then again, I have a first meet tonight with a guy that lives in my same area, so we are meeting at a local pub. So I guess it is whatever works for the situation and people.

As for your nerves: 1. wear sexy underwear. don't know why, but just knowing you are looking fine underneath seems to boost confidence. 2. If you are shy, think of 5 key conversation topics that you are interested in to keep the convo going. 3. think of some questions you can ask him when you want or need him to take over the conversation so you can put on cruise control.

Good Luck sweetie and Have fun, let us know how it goes