First Meet Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
First Meet Update
13
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 9:10am
Well, I happy to report that gentlemen do still exist. The guy was an absolute gentleman. He had honestly represented himself too. He was 6"3" and quite nice looking. His hair was a little thinner than expected, but he still had it :). We sat outside and had lunch by the river. I went to give him money and he not only refused to take it, but gave me that look and said "put that away..I'm taking care of you today." We walked around the town which was very nice, stopped and got a iced tai chi at Barnes and Noble and then later rented a movie and got pizza at his place. I offered to pay at each step. The only thing he let me pay for was the movies. He held my chair out for me, opened doors, ect. He held my hand and we kissed, but he didn't even try for anything else. He even said that he hoped that his giving me a kiss when we were walking didn't offend me. He wanted to put his best foot forward. He called me on my cell when I left to let me knoe I could call him at anytimte while I was driving to help me stay awake if I was tired. He also wanted me to call him when I got home so he knew I made it all right. He e-mailed me last night too telling me what a great time he had and looked forward to seeing me again soon. If I felt the same way and wanted to see him too, he would come up to me. He said I could "have stayed over and left early in the morning because he would have been the perfect gentleman and will always treat me that way." Pretty nice, eh?(He had said again how shocked he was I drove down there. He felt it was the gentleman's place to drive to the lady, but he appreciated my coming down.)Anyway, it short, all went well and we will probably meet again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 9:15am
P.S. I forgot to add that he also siad int he e-mail to thank my daughter for letting him spend time with such a great mom. I thought that was very sweet. My daughter and I are going out on my cousin's boat today. I had mentioned that maybe he could go along sometime so he also mentioned int he e-mail that he looked forward to possibly spedning some time on the water with two great ladies. I'm sure all the single moms know how nice it is when your children are looked at as a positive and included.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 11:10am

Sounds lovely Momma215 =) Glad you had a good time and were treated well. Sounds like you felt comfy and were attracted to him as well. Yay you!

Looking forward to more updates =)
Lizzie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 12:56pm

I'm glad you had fun and hit it off, but I'm going to be the voice of caution here. It just sounds a little too good to be true, especially the email about thanking your daughter.

I guess I've had too many men TELL me what gentlemen they are (or how honest they are or whatever) but then not follow through with their actions that it makes me wonder how sincere someone who feels they have to SAY that really is, ya know?

Enjoy, but be cautious, and give it time to make sure he's not manipulating you into thinking he's a great guy right off the bat. I would NOT let him stay over when he comes to see you or have him meet your daughter right away.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 1:31pm
ITA
BTW I'm a lurker just felt the need to chime in.
No offence but he seems a bit too sugary for comfort.
....off I go back to lurkdom .....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 2:06pm
How old is your daughter?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 2:08pm
Hey, lurker. Jump in any time!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 6:59pm
I appreciate the sound info. My daughter is nine and whether she met him or not, she wouldn't see him as step-daddy coming in. My daughter and I are very open and honest. I think his gentlemanly behavior has more to do with the fact of his life experiences. He was in the military for four years and spent the last 20 years in Japan. His three sons are still there and I know how much he misses them. He calls them a few times a week. His own father split when he was five and his mom wasn't rather mean to him growing up because he looked like his dad. I'm not going in blind. I do look for the flags. I really think he's sincere. He wasn't boasting he was a gentleman. He just responded to my comments of appreciating his being one. His actions are what led me to believe he's one so far. In one of his e-mails today, he commented how he didn't want to push me away so that if he ever comes across as pushy to let him know.It looks like he nay be coming here next weekend. No plans have been finalized yet. In all honesty, I don't know what I even really want to come of this "relationship," but being treated with some respect and as if you were appreciated for just who you are was very nice. He doesn't play mind games either. So, for now, I'm just going to enjoy if for what it is, but certainly listen to all your words of wisdom :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 10:19pm

I agree w/ NW he sounds tooo good to be true, not to be a skeptic but we have all heard this before and to add in about him coming up and being a gentleman and then the part abuot the daughter. something sounds fishy to me.. sorry , i hope I am wrong

and ACTIONS ACTION ACTIONS.. WORDS ARE bs.. I jusgt went through this and not saying the man didn't mean any of it, but we have only actions to go by.. so before you believe it watch how he acts and if all good no reason to doubt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 10:30pm
<>
Maybe he is a sugar daddy :)) Sorry, I feel a little crazy today :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 11:02pm
I'm listening with all ears. I even commented to him today about seeing "to good to be true." He said somehting to the effect that time will tell... that basically what I saw Saturday is him and he's not going to change. He's already planning to come here this weekend (by my invitation of course). He actually just seems a bit old fashioned. If anything, my only concern is it being too serious too soon. He says we'll take it day by day, but... Well,I'll just see what happens. I'm not jumping into anything I'm not ready for.

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