First Meeting
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 12-13-2006 - 2:07pm |
I'm sure there have been a lot of questions like this in the past...but I guess I was just looking for some insight into my personal situation...
A few weeks ago I met a guy online in a chat room that I really connected with. I would never usually do this, but since we had so much in common, I gave him my IM name and we began to chat frequently. We also exchanged pictures. About a week ago we started talking on the phone. We have had a few amazing conversations which neither of us wanted to end. We both go to school in different parts of the state, but our families are from relatively close areas, so we have talked about meeting up during Christmas break. I know all the safety precautions to take, so that is not an issue. However, I am still somewhat hesitant about it for various reasons and I was hoping to get some input on that!
First of all, I'm worried that he won't like me as much in real life as he does online/on the phone (and to a lesser extent, that I won't like him as much). We have talked about approaching the meeting with no expectations, yet it is still hard to shake them! It would just be really awkward and sad for me if I ended up being a disppointment to him. I'm worried the spark won't be there and although I've shown him a few pictures, which he reacted positively to, I'm still worried I won't be pretty enough or skinny enough or what he was expecting...
Also, this is probably my biggest issue...I don't know how to tell others in my life about him, our phone conversations, and our potential meeting. I do feel slightly embarassed about it and feel like there is a stigma to starting up a relationship or even just a friendship with someone you met online. Since I live by myself in an apartment, no one really knows that I've been spending so much time talking to him. Once I meet him I feel like I will have to tell my close friends and perhaps family, otherwise I would feel like I was sneaking around or hiding something! And if people ask how we met should I say something like "through friends" or just admit that it was online? I don't want to have to lie to people, but I don't want to be judged everytime the question comes up.
Any thoughts on all of this?? Thanks!

Well, it's absolutely a possibility that you won't hit it off in person. It happens, quite often in fact. That's just a risk that comes with doing OLD. It's unavoidable...so if you want to avoid it, you need to find another way of meeting people. But I find that thinking of it as just meeting with a potential friend for a cup of coffee helps me to not have unrealistic expectations (well, that and not talking for too long before meeting but that's already happened, so oh well).
And as for telling people how you met--if and when it gets to that point, I would tell the truth, because that's how I prefer to live my life. If people want to judge you for telling the truth, that's THEIR problem.
Sheri
Girl you said it all. Nothing more needs to be said.
BTW, you give really great advice. If the PTB were to give you your own advice column, I'd definitely "tune in".
B365