First Meets/Dates

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
First Meets/Dates
2
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 9:19am

Woo hoo!

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 9:48am

I prefer to meet within a week or two.

I call it a "meet" NOT a "date".

I prefer early afternoon meets. Ex., coffee at Starbucks or a local bookstore; or quick lunch. I no longer prefer the meet for a drink after work, etc. cause you can end up drinking too much which can cloud your judgment and/or spend 4-5 hours.

My timeframe is 1 hour; even if I'm liking or vibing with the guy! I've learned that just because I like or seemingly vibe with the guy; doesn't necessarily mean the guy feels the same way too or better yet, is emotionally healthy or available to cultivate a relationship! I've met too many people who want to "date" as much as myself (basically enjoy the moment or day); but are not willing to put in the work to cultivate a relationship for the long-haul. Since I look at our first encounter as a "meet" instead of a "date"; then I stick with my 1 hour timeframe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 1:04pm

How long after initial contact do you prefer to meet?
1-2 weeks. I like to trade a few emails, talk on the phone once, then meet.

Do you call it a "date" or a "meet"?
Meet if it is coffee or drinks, otherwise a date. Not sure why, I just do!

What do you PREFER to do? Dinner, lunch, coffee, happy hour, something else?
Dinner or a weekend lunch have worked best lately. I know that with dinner you can wind up wishing you weren't stuck there for so long but it's been awhile since I've had a date that incompatible. I don't like coffee much anymore, it seems like there is more pressure because you don't have the distraction of a menu to look at, food to eat, etc.

What would you NOT do on a first meet?
I usually don't drink at all or only have one drink as I don't want my judgment clouded (also I always drive myself to the first meet so I have to get home safely). No kissing on the first meet/date, usually a hug though. I would not go somewhere remote where there are not a lot of people around or invite the guy back to my place.

Do you usually go in with a timeframe in mind? Are you willing to extend that timeframe if things are going well? How long?
I don't really care much at this point. If it's coffee or drinks, I expect it to last an hour or so but if things are going well I will stay longer. If it is dinner or lunch, I don't like to rush things.