I think you make an excellent point... while online relationships dont meet the traditional criteria and we have a number of accounts of how they fail when attempts are made to make them traditional relationships.... they are, however, "relationships"... I have 4 online friendships that I have maintained for at least a year... 3 of the 4 are very clearcut "friendships"... one however has touched my heart but I hope to and believe I have been able to maintain it just as it is... as an "online friend" and not anything more, I value his friendship even if it is via email and IMs ... he is an extremely bright, insightful person who I truly value as a friend... circumstances in his personal life (hes married) forbid us from ever make it anything different...
A little bit of history...that's actually what this board used to be all about, when it was called "Cyberconnections". It was a very hard place to post, because there was so much denial and fantasy among the posters.
I don't feel that pointing out naivete and foolishness is "bashing".
It sounds good in theory but in practice I don't think it would work. The topics are too close in nature. People would still mis-catagorize by accident. Or on purpose... to get in the most popular folder.
The mere fact that a r'ship starts online doesn't make it naive and foolish, it's specific *behavior* that we see over and over again on these boards (not just this one) that is naive and foolish. Realistic expectations and actions can still be applied to those relationships, but they are often ignored in favor of fantasy.
Those who know me well know I'm about as emotional as they come--but that I also temper my (often overly) emotional nature with reality, because I have learned that *balance* is key to most things in life. The realistic perspective is one that many posters are missing, and I don't see anything wrong with providing that viewpoint--in fact, I think we would be doing posters a disservice to NOT provide it.
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"......they can just stay out of that folder....."
Because I didn't want to pick on you specifically.
A little bit of history...that's actually what this board used to be all about, when it was called "Cyberconnections". It was a very hard place to post, because there was so much denial and fantasy among the posters.
I don't feel that pointing out naivete and foolishness is "bashing".
Sheri
Maybe 'bashing' was not quite the right word... maybe just that they receive harsher answers rather than the
The mere fact that a r'ship starts online doesn't make it naive and foolish, it's specific *behavior* that we see over and over again on these boards (not just this one) that is naive and foolish. Realistic expectations and actions can still be applied to those relationships, but they are often ignored in favor of fantasy.
Those who know me well know I'm about as emotional as they come--but that I also temper my (often overly) emotional nature with reality, because I have learned that *balance* is key to most things in life. The realistic perspective is one that many posters are missing, and I don't see anything wrong with providing that viewpoint--in fact, I think we would be doing posters a disservice to NOT provide it.
Sheri
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