folder suggestion & paradigm shift

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
folder suggestion & paradigm shift
35
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 12:11pm

Okay.

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 2:12pm

>>The topics are too close in nature. People would still mis-catagorize...


Maybe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 2:14pm

Other online message boards with software that was written post 1970's have the ability to reference FAQ's through messages that are "stickied" so that they don't rotate off the top.

That's what iVillage should do if they ever upgrade their systems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 2:30pm

"Long-Distance

MS
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 3:37pm

Yes, other commitments such as being married!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 3:45pm
I like the idea of the two folders but agree with mistress12005 here. Just because a relationship is totally online and the people have never met, doesn't mean it is LD. You can live across town from someone that you have only had an IM or email relationship with. But I think maybe one that specifically targets OLD websites such as Match, Yahoo, etc. and then one that is more for chatting and stuff online.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 11:11pm

While I know that your intentions are honourable I'm actually against the idea. When I first joined this community it was known as "Cyberconnections" The regulars were almost exclusively in long-distance cyber "relationships". When I became CL I put a lot of effort into changing this board in order to shift discussions away from "cyberlove" and towards discussions on how to use the internet in order to actually MEET people.

ivillage already has a long-distance relationships board.

Also, when I first joined this community there were four folders. I also asked to have all but two removed. The more folders there are on the board the more they tend to be neglected - and people were often posting in the wrong folders anyways.

I know that I'm not CL here anymore and if the rest of the community wants to change the board that's fine. But based on my knowledge re. the history of this board I really wouldn't be happy if it began to change back to what it once was. Just my 2 cents FWIW.

(Now I'm going to read the other responses and see if anyone else agrees with me or if I should hang my head in shame for being closed-minded) ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 12:12am

<>

Well, harrumph! I don't consider my mind to be closed when I urge people to GET OFF the fantasy train when dealing with complete strangers online. There are certainly romantic stories around about people hooking up online and having a "relationship" for a number of years. Just as there are stories of people getting assaulted, killed, robbed by people they have placed trust in based solely on interesting, sexy emails.

I've already learned a thing or two from people in the latter category, thanks, and I wouldn't dream of encouraging anyone to pursue such a potentially dissappointing and possibly dangerous situation.

I don't care how many folders get created on this board. But I would suggest we call THIS folder "Caution - honest, from-the-heart answers only given here."

Ann-Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 5:22am

It seems that no matter how gently or abruptly we (I) communicate the fantasy that is taking place - that those in the midst of it just don't "get it".

Everyone thinks they're a special case where the rules don't apply.

Ultimately if they could "sticky" a couple FAQ posts that might go a long way.

When I started posting here I remember specifically reading about a year's worth of messages before I opened my mouth. Unfortunately my experience in other online forums is the vast majority of people never bother to search or read the past messages.

WRT to the people in email relationships - we get so many of those posts that searching is often only as far away as reading the last weeks' worth of messages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 9:19am

I did the same thing and I'm amazed how many newbies don't seem to do that.

I'm in the camp that doesn't see the need for the creation of new folders.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 10:38am

I'm not amazed at all that newbies don't read previous posts. Usually someone comes out here for the first time with what they view as an urgent problem. They want a quick answer to their problem and lo and behold, they discover this board that talks about online relationships! Woo hoo! So they come out here and ask their question and most of the time say something like "has anyone ever experienced this before?" when if they HAD bothered to read even a couple weeks back, they would see that that exact question has been asked several times. But most people don't want to read thru weeks or months of posts to find an answer, they want someone to respond RIGHT NOW and give them the answer without having to work too hard.

When I first started coming out here (and when I go to a new board), I will look through several pages of posts more at a high level looking for anything that seems relevant to what I want to ask. On some other boards, a good portion of the time, it doesn't pertain to my question.

So I like the idea of an FAQ link posted prominently on the board. Maybe a new paragraph at the top of the page that says - "Got a question about Online Dating/Relationships? Check out our FAQs first! You might find just the answer you are looking for" kind of a thing. It could have answers to the most common questions with links and stuff. I know that is on the OLD site JH created, but since she is not maintaining as much due to lack of time, maybe something more prominent right here on the message board homepage would be a good idea.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo