follow up to trying to stay positive

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
follow up to trying to stay positive
1
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 6:20pm

The more I thought about it I realized have no shortage of responses to my profile. It is the drop off after a few email exchanges. Along with the help of a friend, we looked at some of my email exchanges. These guys certainly started off interested. A couple of things she pointed out.

1)I play it too close to the vest. My emails are short with a question or two and they start to respond in kind. There may be question of my interst level. In my defense, I am not comfortable spilling my guts to a complete stranger but I need to work on showing more interest by asking more questions or sharing more stories.

2)She thinks I am too passive. Her reasoning is that women are very aggressive these days and I may need to be a bit bolder and offer up my number instead of waiting for him to ask. This is a hard one for me as I have traditional values. I am of the midset a man will go after what he wants but then again he has very little invested in someone he has never met. She pointed out that in all 4 instances we stalled at the moment we should take it offline. Have men really become accustom to women intitiating? I don't know if I can survive in this new dating world? I concede that I could hint enough interest for him to ask for my number.

3)She doesn't think these men have given up on me and may need some encouragement. I emailed the one I was most interested in so we will see how/if he responds.

Thanks for all the feedback. I am still working on the full body pics. I think that is the only thing I am missing on my profile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 7:06pm

Oh, you are sooooo lucky to have a friend like that! And it was very brave of you to ask her advice, sounds like she did a great job!!!!

If you can do that, you can get a picture up there.