A foul matter
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 01-24-2006 - 3:11pm |
This posting is really more rant than anything. Not really an item I'd normally discuss with most folks, but one I felt compelled to share with my friends here. Perhaps you've been there? (okay, doubtful)
In my past three years of online dating, I seem to have developed an interesting pattern with men. Not your usual run of the mill kind, as this one really has more to do with bodily functions.
The men I've dated have all had some sort of digestive problem. Be it stomach upset, gas, diarrhea, IBS, a "happy pooper", and most recently a combination gas/constipation afflicted guy. Frankly, it's really getting old.
Some of you may be wondering if perhaps the girl is to blame for these undesirable maladies, however, I can assure you these problems were evident from very early on.
I almost feel the need to update my online ad to say "digestive impaired individuals need not appply". I'm pretty tired of my men having to excuse themselves to use the bathroom with such frequency, then finding myself in the dreaded position of having to sanitize my once pristine bathroom- now a crime scene.
The first guy, an attorney, was a rather nervous type. He seemed to be in the bathroom every 10 minutes or so.
The second guy, a Naturopathic physician, was heavily involved in an organic diet which included large amounts of lamb sausage. He always seemed eager to pass his next stool and make observations about it's color and texture. After date three, I'd had enough.
The third guy was afflicted with IBS, gas, and what seemed like terminally violent diarrhea. He farted constantly. In some ways I can't believe we lasted as long as we did, but truly, there were other redeeming qualities there.
Just when I thought my bathroom cleaning duties were over, along came the last and most recent guy. It seemed as though he was constantly on the verge of a blowout. He frequently spent half a movie in the bathroom or complaining of stomach cramps.
So my question is...are there any men left in the world who aren't glued to the toilet? lol

Forgive me for laughing. :0 I bet you feel a bit "jinxed" for finding men who all have similar problems. For me (for a while), it was getting hooked up with men who had never left the family nest and STILL lived with their parents. I had decided after meeting the third guy, that I would find out their living arrangements before agreeing to a blind date with him. These were all set-ups, not OLD.
My experience with OLD has been that several simply do not have time to date anyone due to job responsibilites or child-raising duties. I was beginning to see a pattern for that as well to the point that I now want to find out early on if they actually have any free time for dating before I get too interested in them.
For you to know as much about these guys' digestive problems, I would have to think that they have shared far too much personal info about themselves. No one wants to hear the details of someone's bathroom activities and that especially includes potential girlfriends. I would say that if they have some real health problems, they need to be seeing a doctor and not inflicting their woes on potential dates. The guy who was a doctor should have known this without anyone telling him.
Now, I have to ask this. Did the one guy actually pass gas in front of you??? I think I would have cut my evening short if that had happened.