frickin freaked out

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
frickin freaked out
18
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 12:02am

I'm frickin freaked out right now. That dude just texted me 3 times and emailed me saying he saw me on match tonight, needs to know what's going on, doesn't want to see other woman, my kisses keep him up at night (yeah, 2 short pecks??) and in his email said he wishes he were good enough, really wants to get to know me, please give him another chance....

I'm f'in freaked!!!!!!!

I was sleeping just a few minutes ago, now I'm shaking. He doesn't know my last name, and knows the general area in which I work and live, I just didn't trust him enough to tell him. However, he knows where my church is.

I'm telling you, i'm freaked out. Years ago I was stalked by a former boyfriend, I'm probably more freaked now because I have no idea what I am dealing with.

Help! Any advice? Thank you!
zjaney

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 8:01am

ZERO contact. Don't respond to his texts, block him on your email, automatically delete any messages on Match. You can also block him on Match, I had to do that once to a guy who was sending obscene messages to me. You don't even have to read his texts, just erase them, though if you think you might need them, save them, just don't read them.

My guess is he 'fell in love' with an idea, not you. While I don't think his previous actions were necessarily needy (the one I am seeing calls or texts just about every day, but it's ok with me), these current ones are a bit much.

I think a few days of discomfort for you will make him go away. However, if he does show up at your church, let others know what is going on, don't confront him alone, but have others with you if it gets to that.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 2:42pm

I would send him an email saying you have decided the two of you are not a good match and wishing him well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 3:08pm

I agree with Sheri. You need to make it clear to him in no uncertain terms that you don't want to hear from him. So maybe, "I enjoyed meeting you but I've decided we are not a fit and will not be contacting you again. I would appreciate you not contacting me anymore either."


My friend's xBF turned into somewhat of a stalker too. You need to be able to prove that you told him to leave you alone so that if he doesn't, you can take appropriate steps.


Deep breath...he's probably just needy. If he continues to bug you, report him to the dating service where you two first connected. I did this recently with eH and they responded immediately and even though the match was closed, they fixed it so that he could not see my profile

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 9:47pm

Thank you everyone for you advice. I was definitely creeped out last night, feeling better today, but still on alert.

I plan on emailing him tomorrow basically saying what you all suggested .... "this isn't working for me, don't think we are a match, I won't be contacting you, do not contact me, good luck in your search on match".

Hopefully that will be the end of it.

Thanks!
zjaney

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 3:33pm

I sent him the email this morning. I'm feeling confident that it will be the end of it. I didn't hear from him yesterday, although I'm fairly certain he viewed my profile about a dozen times yesterday. However, I figure he has too much to lose to be psycho :) he has a long standing, successful business, I guess he just isn't good with relationships!

Thanks again for your support!
zjaney

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 3:48pm
Don't forget, you can hide your profile for a week or so.
sooooobig
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 6:12pm

Did you block him from emailing you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2009
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 10:30pm

I don’t understand why you’re so "freaked out".


Send him one last e-mail telling him "it’s not working out, don’t contact me."


BLOCK him from emailing you.


Don’t answer his text msgs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Thu, 10-29-2009 - 10:39am

zjaney - I feel your pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Thu, 10-29-2009 - 11:08am
One more thing - dating was so much easier back in the day before technology and when we lived at home.

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