FWB vs dating relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
FWB vs dating relationship
7
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 8:41am

Hi all ~ I'm looking for your opinions here. I keep chatting with men who tell me they are looking for Friends w/Benefits type relationships. A term which, to me, has a shady connection to it. I keep saying that I'm looking for a dating relationship not necessarily leading to marriage. It occured to last night that we might be saying the same thing and I may be writing people off too quickly.

My thought is that a dating relationship to me is going on some dates, if you like each other maybe moving on to relations, and it either leads to long term or it doesn't. So effectively, isn't that the same thing as FWB?

Disclaimer - I'm not talking about the people that want to shack up with 2-20 different people because, ick. I mean the people that are busy with their lives and really aren't ready for a long term relationship...working on career, spend time with kids, running for office...you get what I mean.

Thoughts?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 11:13am

No, it's not the same thing at all, IMO. The whole idea behind FWB is that there's no possibility of it leading to anything "more"...that's the attraction of it for the people who are looking for that.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 11:36am
IMO, a FWB situation is a step below "just dating". Just dating, you go out on dates on a regular basis, you might be having sex, you might not but essentially it IS dating just without a set of expectations that it is going anywhere - it might, but it might not. FWB if more about the sex and you KNOW it isn't going anywhere. You occasionally go out but it's more about the physical than the emotional or the dating - kind of a step above "booty call".

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:34pm
FWB means a sexual relationship with no commitment or exclusivity.
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:36pm
Yep... like a booty call, just maybe more often.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 3:38am

Vexer your description is right on! There are so many different degrees for the relationships! But you covered many of them!

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 9:38am
I have the same dilemma. I just want a boyfriend, a long term one, but I don't want to get married or live together. But FWB sounds kinda shady I agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 10:20am

Ok - so my theory is blown to smithereens... :)

Thanks Vexer - I think you've put it in the right light perfectly. I guess that's kind of what I was trying to say, but not very well - perhaps I was trying to stretch it a bit so I'd have a bigger pool to talk to...sigh.