Getting older... problems with that!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Getting older... problems with that!?
7
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 11:51am
I've been so bummed out this week at the realization that I am a lot older now and am not getting dates like i used to. Let me first say that I feel really young (29) but the online dating world is making me feel otherwise! I first started doing online dating back in 2003 when I was still 25. I used to get emails and offers for dates regulary. It never occured to me that could end as I got OLDER. My last relationship lasted 2 years (26-28yo). I'm regretting now that I spent so much time on him after I knew he wasn't the one...gosh hindsight is 20/20, but I was so "in love". Now here I am at 29 and apparently just not as "fresh" as I was at 25. I'm getting way more "ghosters" and guys re-contacting me through some sort of recycle bin of online women than I got before.
My guess is that the older men and men our age are flooding the inboxes of the younger women. Has anyone else gone through this too or is it just me?
I feel like I am much better of a person than I was at 25...I'm smarter, happier, healthier and more.
So, what's the deal!? Perhaps we're all just getting more careful and really those guys contacting me before were the less serious ones (believable seeing how none of those relationships lasted and i am single)? I could go for that excuse...at least it makes me feel better... :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 2:59pm
I am 52 and sorry, but I can't help but smirk a little bit with your comment. Wait until you get older. It just gets worse. Remember ladies, when we spend our youth chasing after the old guys, we will end up someday older and watching this same old guys chasing after the younger girls and leaving us in the dust. A few still look at us, but overall, I am seeing more men list in their profile women up to 15 years younger. I think it is a fact of life that you just can't dismiss. It takes two so I can't just blame the men.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 4:04pm

I figured there would be older women here (who might smirk at a 4 year difference), but I am simply talking about my experience in an honest way.

I sure am praying to find a good man who is ready to settle down... I'm adjusting to a new phase and realization. It seems like more and more men are not taking O.L.D. seriously...they just want to play in the toy store and see who all they can get to talk to them having so many "options". OLD definitely gives new creedance to "there's always more fish in the sea".

I've been single for so long, it would be nice to meet a great guy and get into a lasting relationship, to have someone to come home to at night! Now that I am all settled in my career, there's definitely a feeling that lingers...screams, actually, i dont want to be alone anymore! :) oh well, i guess it'll happen when it happens...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 6:27pm

Nope - it's not just you. I feel that way as well. I was with someone from 24-29, and I definitely felt the effect of being older in the dating pool after we split. I'm now 31, and it's not really getting any better.

Now, I don't think it's that men are necessarily looking for much younger women. I think it's because we all have more issues and more walls up as we get older because we've been in the dating/relationship world for longer. So, it's more difficult to get past all that and really connect with someone.

I also think that, with age, comes discriminating taste. When I was younger, I would pretty much date anyone who asked. Now, I want to date people who have real potential for long-term.

Don't worry - 29 is not the end of the world for dating. It's just a little bit different world.

(edited for a typo)




Edited 8/24/2006 6:29 pm ET by tallgirlcolo

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 7:07pm

I hear what you're saying. However, if you think the pool is shallow at your end, you have to try it at mine. (I'm 51) It's barely a puddle!

And not to be condescending, but at 29 you have many "good" years ahead of you. You have the best of both worlds. There will be men who are approximatley your age who will be interested and those a few years older.

I do wish you luck and hope you find someone soon!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:07pm
This one made me laugh. 29 is old? I was 45 when I started online. I got lots of attention from all ages. Maybe your profile needs an update? However the pool of available men does indeed get smaller as we age. Men in their thirties which I guess is your target range, are settling. Many have married and are reproducing and climbing the corporate ladders. Many of them will be single again in their late forties and early fifties. So hang in there or get out and get your profile on more sites and make it stand out like none of the others.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:15pm

I agree, I was like 29 old?

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:50pm
Yeah, I agree. someone else on here mentioned the fact that once weve been in and out of serious relationships we're more cautious and don't just accept anyone for a date...i know my standards have risen a lot higher than they were previously which i'm sure is reflected in my current profile. ...and I want to keep it that way. I guess i reminded myself what kind of guy i'm looking for...i was thinking that the kind of guys that are emailing me is changing...and i think overall it's a good thing. :) it's not quantity ...its QUALITY!! :)
thanks for your reply!