Getting tired of guessing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Getting tired of guessing!
10
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 12:05pm

HI girls, I wrote ealier that he asked me on a fourth date this weekend, and we talked on Wednesday. He suggested a movie... Anyways, I have not heard from him yet, and its already mid-day on Saturday. Since we didn't leave it at that he will call me, do you think I'm expected to call him?

I'm getting so tired of this guessing/waiting game. Am I just being impatient? If he is doing this "let her wonder" thing by intention, I'd say it's probably working against him. I'm even losing the anticipation of seeing him. Now I'm just feeling irritated... What should I do? If he calls me later tonight, to schedule for tomorrow or something, or even if he wants to meet tonight, should I just brush him off? I don't want him to think that I've been waiting for him all weekend! I actaully do have other plans too, but I was going to make him my priority, but what now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 12:18pm
Make your other plans and when/if he calls say that since you hadn't heard from him, you went ahead with your other plans. You shouldn't be taken for granted or have to sit around waiting for him to get off his butt and make plans with you. It might sound manipulative, but it will let him know that you're not sitting around waiting for him to get back to you and you have a life so if he wants to go out with you, he'd better be more prompt about making plans!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 1:27pm
Thanks Vesper, looks like you are also waiting for that call, Geez, I hate to have to wait! The thing is, since he did not say that he'll call, we just both decided to get together this weekend. Should I give him a call instead of waiting around?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 1:29pm

Did you agree that you would go out tonight, or was it just "this weekend"? If you agreed that you'd go out tonight, then I'd assume that the date is set and give him until late afternoon/early evening to make the specific plans (and if he doesn't, then I'd consider that to be a blow-off and that would be at least a big strike if not a dealbreaker). If it was just "this weekend", then I'd make other plans for tonight and see what happens when he calls.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 1:40pm

Yup, I'm waiting too but my guy said he would call me to firm up plans so I am sitting on my hands and trying to keep busy so I won't call him! But BOY do I hate the waiting!!

As for yours, that's a toughie when you don't really specify who was calling but IMO, if he did the asking, he should do the follow-up. So definitely if it was non-specific, make your plans and go with them. Hopefully he'll follow up, but don't put your life on hold for him.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 2:05pm
Thanks for the replies, girls. So I should NOT call him. Sheri, no he just said: "let's get together and do something this weekend if you are around." I said: "sure I'll be around, what do you want to do?" then he suggested going to a movie. No specifics, and I asked him to find out what movies since I have been so busy and wasn't paying attention to what's playing. Well, I guess you are right, if he blew this one off then I should know better.
vexer, don't you feel like moving in slow motion while you are waiting? As much as I MAKE myself not to be waiting, I still do! It's so silly, I know. Well, I'm gonna get out of the house and go meet with my girlfriends for a coffee now, but I know we'll be talking about him and I'll still be staring at my phone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2006
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 8:33pm
ok--apparantly--it did work! He has you wondering (much so!) I say be available--atleast duing the beginning. Guys like girls with no pressure or games (even if they are causing or playing them). If it happens a 3rd time be busy. Thats my suggestion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 12:11am
I did get out and watched a movie at my girl friend's place tonight. Nope he didn't call! My friend was saying that he obviously is not that into me. It is such a harsh truth to hear and to accept. By all means, not to be egotiscal about it, I am attractive! I had two guys wanting to marry me last year, and just this Thursday night I rejected someone because I like this other guy.
I know I might have my expectation too high with OL dating. He is the only one that I dated so far. I searched and found him to be my type and winked at him. Oh well, he'll probably call tomorrow, probably not, who knows. If he doesn't call, then I think I'll have my answer; but if he does, I will still be so confused! I am tempted to just put things on the table with him. Would it be ok if I asked him whether or not he is interested in me? Tell him that I am interested in getting to know him and I feel a connection, but I hope the feeling is mutual, because I do not want to waste time if he does not see us going anywhere further. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 2:14am

Ugh, hard as it may be (I realize I'm jumping in very late here)..you might as well go on with planning YOUR weekend. He may have had an emergency or completely dropped the ball. Whatever the case, I wouldn't wait.

He already asked you out this weekend, but no contact since Weds? I wouldn't hold my breath. Sure, he might ask you out for Sunday. It's your call whether or not you should go. I think he should have called for a confirmation by now though.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 3:01am

In my experience, guys will rarely answer a question like that honestly...they don't want to be the 'bad guy' to your face, so they'll say "oh, of course I'm interested!" and then they won't call.

The answer is in his actions...they will tell you what you need to know about his interest level.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:16am
Thats just RUDE. & mean. I hate the waiting thing.

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