Gettting Annoyed W/ OL Interest

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
Gettting Annoyed W/ OL Interest
12
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 12:43pm

I want to vent about my online experience, then hopefully, you guys can put in your two cents on how you'd handle my annoyance. Here's the good. He's adorable, wealthy and monogamous. He likes me, I do like him. We do live on opposite coasts and have NEVER met. Scary, huh??? I've seen enough pictures and he's seen mine. There won't be any surprises in appearance. I've talked to him for some time now, and we're trying to make the effort to meet soon to seal the deal. If it works, it's probably going to go full speed. I'm positive that he'd make a good boyfriend if we lived..closer LOL. HOWEVER...here's the BAD STUFF!!!
He works looong days and comes home 9PM like clock work every night. He does make the time to talk to me every day, but I don't find the frequency necessary. There's no time
to miss each other. It's not endearing anymore, but routine. But, I don't know how to say, "Honey, stop calling me," without him thinking I don't care. (Okay, and I date someone else local, that doesn't know). It's also very distracting to get calls in the middle of the night. If I ignore the calls, "Where were you?"

Another thing that turned me off was that he doesn't believe in doing any sort of manual labor. He wastes money to do ridiculous things, like several hundred dollars to align his paintings. That's annoying, and I am more attracted to the DIY kind of guy.

I also think he's not sensitive enough for me. Okay, he doesn't see me everyday, but he knows so much about me, my family and friends, my personality. It would be nice if he said something endearing. "I missed you," would be nice, but then again 24 hours isn't long enough to miss somebody. It would be nice if he could close a conversation politely. He says, "yes, I have to go do whatever." I say, "Okay," as if he
is going to continue talking. He says, "Bye" Before I say goodbye, he's off the phone. It's very, very rude!!! I'm NOT an employee of his. I'm a...friend, possible future girlfriend? I would like to hear, "Have a good night," or "bye, honey" or something soft to the ear. I know he has the good intention to do the right thing, but it doesn't go the 3000 miles. I can't ask for it, but I want him to say, "You were on my mind or I love the things you say." Or maybe, an apology for forgetting that it's 2AM east coast time. That's enough complaining. I did enough of that already.

Well, these are little things that add up. But they are ANNOYING things. I like the guy enough to know we have something good. I just need him out of the business mode more often. Geez. So, I need your help, guys~~~thank you much!
1. How should I tell him to ease up on the calls, in a nice way?
2. How do I get him to be more sensitive?
3. Do you think any of the things I mentioned are deal breakers?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 7:32am
I allowed myself to get caught up in an online romance that went on wwwaayyy too long for my own good.... the excuses re when we were going to meet were always there---work travel, you name it.... in meantime, I spent hours and hours chatting with him online and even a few phone conversations... came to really love his outlook on things, his sense of humor, etc... always got that "inside tickle " everytime i heard from him... but something just wasnt adding up.... finally had a divorce decree investigated on him.... I knew his name, address, employment, etc... and viola... the one thing i didnt know about him was that he was MARRIED and lying about it.... the thing is .. i was so hooked on him by then I didnt even care!!! Finally I had to force myself to wake up and smell the coffee.... he had put me through the ringer for quite awhile (almost a year).... please be careful ... there are people out there that are just out to play games...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 7:45am
That happened to me too! That's when I realized the internet is a powerful thing. Took me two years. I can listen to classic rock again and not get nauseous. Finally!

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