Is this ghosting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Is this ghosting?
6
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 10:57pm

I corresponded with a guy on Lava for a week and his profile was interesting (except that he looked like my Ex.) then he never responded and I was curious to know why he stopped emailing soI email him and asked if he found someone interesting and that I would be happy if so kuz it is sign that OLD is working for someone. I could see that he read my message but he never replied. so I said next as usual! but 2 months later "yesterday" he emails me to say that he was traveling like CRAZY and had not had time to check Lava and wonder if I m still interested in chatting?

I m sure it is not travel. because in two months he could spare 5 min to send a brief reply.
Anyhow, I know that he may have been dating someone and it did not work out. I kind of have the impression that he did not want to date many girls and this is why he stopped responding to me which is a good thing but I also think he ghosted and the rule is not to give a ghost the chance to ghost again. So what would you do? ignore the msg? chat and see what happens? or meet soon b4 another ghosting takes place? ;)
So far 3 guys ghosted on me and two came back after a month and this one after 2 months. I did not reply to the first two.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2002
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 11:29pm

Being new to this board can you explain "ghosting" to me???


God Bless

Image hosting by Photobucket







Image hosting by Photobucket






h-godisgood.gif

Anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 7:25am
Ghosting is the term we use when a guy/gal that you've been communicating with or dating
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 9:45am
My guess is that he was seeing someone else and when that didn't work out he got back in touch with you. As for whether to give him another chance, if I was interested in the guy I would. I think it is different if someone disappears before you've met vs. after meeting. If he disappears before you've met b/c he is seeing someone else, that just means that he is further along in the process of getting to know her and doesn't want to date anyone else at the same time and it's nothing personal, just he hasn't met you yet. It's different if you have actually met in person and then he disappears, then he is deciding he is more interested in her than you and who wants to be the second choice?
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 11:56am

Are you interested? then go for it!


I just said on another thread that sometimes, sure you have to "have a thick skin" to do OLD, but sometimes that skin gets TOO thick, to where we are too easily offended or get overly defensive and such. Your telltale line is: "I also think he ghosted and the rule is not to give a ghost the chance to ghost again."


I say "Rules" are stupid unless YOU have your own good reasons for them.


So. Whose rule is that? Yours?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2002
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 6:51pm

Thanks!


God Bless

Image hosting by Photobucket







Image hosting by Photobucket






h-godisgood.gif

Anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 8:47pm
I wouldn't write a message asking someone why they stopped writing to me. I think I'd say something a little more lighthearted like Hi haven't heard from you for awhile, just wondering how you are, and drop it at that. Asked why someone ghosted makes you sound a little desperate, and that you think the world of him, without meeting him, and nothing of yourself. You think more of yourself than that don't you?