Girlfriend Analysis Needed
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| Wed, 06-29-2005 - 4:31pm |
I have a girlfriend who does OLD. Now the guys in question:
Guy #1:
She has been chatting with a guy on OLD for several weeks and they have scheduled on two separate occasions to meet; both times NO SHOW, not even a telephone call. Anyway she left him a VM (because she will call the guy to confirm) stating how she was NOT going to call again and how unhappy she was with his behavior - standing her up!
Well today (2 weeks later), she sends me an email that she is going out with the guy on Friday. Apparently to dinner and then to his place afterwards. At first, I was surprised that she was even considering going, and the comment was "well at least it's a date!" Of course, I mentioned he may not show up but felt that she didn't need to go to his house. She is seeking a LTR and this guy has her believing that he too is seeking an LTR. Regardless, I told her that's "cool if you want to go out with him but I would not go to his house because you are sending mixed messages." Her comment was "I'm a grown woman and sex is sex, blah, blah and if I want to go there I know it's just sex but it doesn't mean we will not have a LTR." Basically the way she thinks is that if 2 people meet and both are ready and willing to have an LTR it doesn't matter if sex is done quickly (or if he has stood you up twice already).
Guy #2:
Met in RL, and calls sporadically and they have sex sporadically! Anyway he is suppose to be this multi-millionaire and she is currently unemployed but on several occasions he has offered her a job (help with his business) and basically has NEVER come through. This past weekend she did some paper work for him (mind you he called her at 2:00 am stating he needs her to do work which she obliged), gave him sex, and of course he promised her a job, as of today, NO CALL. Regardless, she shucks it off "that he has so many businesses, that he is busy, and he is on his own schedule and he will call again eventually. If he came to her for an LTR, she would take it -- because he is rich. Mind you she has NEVER seen the so-called businesses, houses, or cars. I mean give me a break!! Also, he still owes some of her friends monies from a previous business venture she convinced people to join. Nope, I'm not one of them!!
WTF?? I just don't get this. She is a very close friend -- you know we met when she was married and now divorced (7 years ago), her single way of thinking really makes me wonder about her. She is over 40; but is very secure within herself (her statement to me!). Besides what's mention above, she has no problem over-extending herself to men (loaning them money, her car, etc.)
Does this behavior sound like this woman is very secure with herself? What is really going on here?

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She feels she hit the jackpot because of all the material things he has: He has a nice home, fun toys (motorcycle, boat etc.), great sex and he's hot...nevermind that he stood her up and disrespected her time twice, cancelled on her for the third date and did nothing to really take her out on the second date except bring her back to his place to watch her shows "OOH HOW GENEROUS OF HIM" and he's a jackpot!!!
WOW!
ITA!!!
He tested her, stood her up the first two times and cancelled the third only, those were basically him scoping out how desperate she was for a date, it was like taking candy from a baby...she was so easy to him...oh well she put up with me standing her up twice and cancelling the third time she's gotta be desperate...she's ripe for the picking I'll have her hanging from the chandeliers in no time...and in no time she was!
Girl, I will share that same "bug" if this becomes an LTR! LOL
I'm sorry, but I've tried and my friend is over 40 and makes her own decisions. She is truly desperate (in the worse way), just recently unemployed, so I think she is impressed with his toys and hopes he will take care of her. I believe he will call her again (for SEX) and she will go willingly. Of course, nevermind the fact he lives about 50 miles; trust me he will not be making the commute to her place (actually lives with her cousin). Condoms! Not always and that's pretty scary! Anyway, I think she should focus on finding work; getting her own place, actually getting her life together. 2 years ago she was very self-sufficient but lately it seems she has this attitude about not wanting to work (Exec. Asst.) and start her own business. That's cool but you need to start from somewhere.
Well I still love her as a friend and appreciate the comments (I'm on the same page as everyone else) and hopefully she will see the light! Probably not likely, since she has been living this way since her divorce.
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