give a guy your opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
give a guy your opinion
34
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 4:15pm

Ladies here is your opportunity to tell a guy what you think and know that he is listening.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 4:46pm
Hi Mark I posted my opinion on the debate board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 5:28pm

Unfortunately, there is no single or simple answer to this. Each woman here and in your area has her own preferences and ideas of what is attractive. On quick glance, I don't see anything wrong with your profile that would be keeping women away - you give great, specific examples of things you like to do, places you like to go, things you are looking for, etc. The more detail, the better.

One thing that is a "turnoff" for me is guys that are looking for significantly younger women. Admittedly, at least you are looking for women that are LEGAL, but I am about your age and when I see a guy my age that is still willing to date a woman in her early 20s, I think that he could be a potential player, might be looking for only one thing or something not all that serious. But again, that is just me.

Another personal preference is that I would like a guy with no children. Again, just me. But you might want to gear your profile a little more towards women that likely also have children - mention your son and things you like to do with him. Not stereotyping, but women with children are usually much more willing to date men with children.

No one person can say what is "too old", or what women feel about single fathers, divorcees or anything for that matter because we are all different. We have women on this board alone dating from early 20s to their 60s so what one person likes or thinks is "too old" will not be what someone else thinks.

Also, FYI - we have several men who post on this board so you are "one of us" as much as anyone else because you are trying OLD.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 5:31pm

Mark, welcome to the board! You'll find we have quite a few guys on this board, as well as at least one other single dad.

I have dated single dads and have no problems with doing so (I was even thinking seriously about marrying a man with a six year old, until he turned out to be a pathological liar--the guy not his son!). However, I've had prospective dates tell me that *solely* because I don't have kids, they thought I "wouldn't understand" their obligations as a parent (without giving it a try but whatever). So I guess I would just urge you to be open to women who have children and those who don't.

As far as your profile, the first section was a little too...I don't know, touchy-feely, maybe? I'm not sure what good telling people the results of your "love test" are, since a reader wouldn't know what they mean, would they? I would instead focus more on specifics about you and your interests. What you've written doesn't really give me a specific sense of YOU.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 5:39pm

<<<(I was even thinking seriously about marrying a man with a six year old, until he turned out to be a pathological liar--the guy not his son!).>>>

Darn that pathological lying, I mean it could have been a beautiful marriage...LOL

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 5:49pm

Indeed!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 7:05pm

Hi Mark and WELCOME!


I'm so glad you decided to post... and please, don't feel this board is only for women. We welcome and appreciate the men on the board. The more of a mix we get, the better it is for all of us! You'll find a lot of great advice and experience here.


I'll check out your profile when I get home... just wanted to jump in and welcome you. And please, feel free to post as often as you'd like!!!

Kerry


If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting... -- Les Brown

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 8:41pm

Hi, there!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:50pm
cgun- you most certainly can look at his profile just click on it. you don't need to be a member.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 1:49am

HI Mark,

Welcome to Planet OLD; inhabited by some of the greatest people around! Here, you can be open and honest and learn a Lot about success on OLD. I was on Match for about 10 months when I met Tall Man, who is the man I have been looking for, to share my life with. It is very good to have a list of what you want/need/desire, and stick to that, as closely as possible. If a girl has something you Just cannot live with, then, Ding! Next! and move on, as we are not here to change others. No one needs be perfect, just Perfect for you.

Just from your letter here, I can tell that you know what you desire, your son is important to you, and you are Wonderfully mature enough to get along with the child's mom, for the best interest of your son. Bravo--many strive, few Arrive at this great spot! I would say that you will prob have Much better luck with young women who already have children, and you already have something in common with them, which is a good start. As for age, I think 3 to 5 years younger would be the max. Younger than that, and you will find that women are not mature enough to conduct a relationship as you would like it to be, and that includes Understanding, when it is time for you to spend a day or two, alone, with your son, which is very important. Also, please do Not parade a lot of women in and out of his life, as it will confuse him. Only introduce him after you have been dating a while; my 'time frame' was dating 2-3 months, and then meet the kids. On OLD, only my current boyfriend made it there! Such is the nature of This beast!

Be honest with the women you write, be yourself and just let it flow, no one needs to pressure anyone, when it is supposed to happen, it will. Very "Hallmark", I know, but true. If you like a woman, call her and email her when you can, each day after the first date, IF you really like her. If not, move on, and do not give anyone false hope. Find a bit of 'armadillo armor' for your Own heart, as some rejection is par for This course. Still, it is all about living and learning, and that is Always a good thing, when you have a support grouplike This to bounce ideas/thoughts/theories off of!

Plus, as it has been said before in your replies, we do have Men here and we are Very glad for them!!!

Good luck!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:10am

>>cgun- you most certainly can look at his profile just click on it. you don't need to be a member.


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