give a guy your opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
give a guy your opinion
34
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 4:15pm

Ladies here is your opportunity to tell a guy what you think and know that he is listening.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:32pm
I disagree completely with all your red flags. Especially #5. But hey, he asked for opinions so he got yours....lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:42pm
Red flags..........wrong choice of words to use, except for #1. Oh well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:44pm
Why is newly divorced a red flag?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:52pm
Cuz you don't know the situation. I would have a hard time dating someone recently divorced and I do view it as a red flag. Their could still be issues with the ex, with commitment (e.g. a recently divorced person might be ready to go out and have a wild time now that they are "free"). For me, it is not a dealbreaker red flag but is a red flag nonetheless. I would keep an eye out for other behaviors that would show me that they are in some way not ready to be in a relationship again.


Edited 6/15/2005 5:56 pm ET ET by vexer_hw

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:58pm
So what is "recent" to you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:59pm

Actually, having been divroced for a year is just about the right amount of time for him to start dating again.

And Mark, the fact that you have a child might be more appealing to women that already have children themselves. I usually look for single Dads because not only can they identify with being a single parent, but it also tells me that they are not necessarily looking to have more kids.

A good OLD website to try for single parents is: http://www.singleparentmeet.com/

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 6:06pm

Usually the adjustment period after divorce trauma (whether you are the "leaver" or the "leavee") is between two and five years, depending somewhat on the amount of pre-grieving you've experienced. Some people begin the emotional journey when they realize the marriage is dead -- sometimes well before they mention the word "divorce" to their spouse. Regardless it is a process and meeting someone online or in RL, I prefer not to spend my time initially talking about his marriage/divorce. You would have to in this scenario because he is "newly divorced" with a small child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 6:20pm
One thing that particularly stood out to me is the mention of his relationship with his now exwife. How they have a good understanding and work well at coparenting their son in a responsible way. So many people have such bitter and nasty battles during divorce and the children really suffer, I think it's refreshing to see someone who can accept the failed attempt at the marriage but put aside animosity for the growth and development of their mutual investment...their DS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 6:27pm

He's been a single dad for a year. Divorces sometimes take a while to get done when you have children involved, my ex and I were divorced fairly quickly. He moved out in June of 98, we went to court in December of 98, our divorce was final in January of 99 and it was absolute in April of 99. That was with he and I deciding everything on our own and going to a mediator, who knows how long they have been seperated and in the divorce process.

It may take some 2-5 years to truly be okay to move on after a divorce. If he didn't say a year, I'd say I'd be leery, if it was a month from seperating, or still close to the time of the seperation than yeah I wouldn't probably think he was "ready" and I wouldn't want ot be a rebound. But a year? I think that is a good amount of time to heal oneself and we don't even know why they divorced, there doesn't ALWAYS have to be drama surrounding it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 8:19pm

I think your profile is well written.

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