giving BF's son a gift on his bday?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2009
giving BF's son a gift on his bday?
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 1:17pm

Hi again everyone...I posted a similar question not long ago.

However, because our first meeting will occur on his birthday, I was curious if I should perhaps bring him a small gift? I know he's into his iPod, and it's new, so he's got hardly any music on it. I get free iTunes cards from a colleague all the time, $10 dollar cards. I've got several now.

I've seen the pros/cons of giving a gift on meeting someone's child for the first time. I was just curious what anyone thought of the fact it's going to be his birthday too!

I asked the dad and he said it's up to me, that it's definitely not necessary, but I can if I want to. Has anyone had this happen...meeting their BF/GF's kids on their actual birthday?

Just curious to hear your opinions. :) The meeting is going to be tomorrow. *yikes* I'm so nervous!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 2:27pm
I think 2-3 of the gift cards would be a nice gesture.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2009
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 3:15pm

There's all 10 dollar denominations, so I don't want to give him the full amount. I have over $100 dollars in iTunes cards. While I really probably won't ever use them, I do give them as gifts to people usually. I get them for free as work incentives and through colleagues.

So maybe 2 or 3? The albums on iTunes have gone up in price, most are between 9.99 and 15 dollars, but some are more. And individual songs are between .99 cents and 1.29 I think. So I'm thinking $20 dollars worth would be okay? I don't want to create the impression that I'm trying to buy him off. LOL Or that it's something he'll get every time he sees me.

Gosh I'm so nervous. I would feel less nervous if my kids were there. Ugh. He's not much older than my kids, but still...for some reason I am nervous. I told my guy that today. I have always been extremely nervous around new people all my life. It's something I never recovered from. Oh well, I'll do my best. We are going to just be hanging out at his house, so we're gonna rent a movie and watch tv, eat a pizza, etc. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. Kinda like I was on my first date with my guy!

Any other advice is welcome. So the $20 bucks is an okay amount? Not too much? Not too cheap, either?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 11:01am
Yes I think $20 in cards would be fine--it's nice to acknowledge his BD--is he having a party? As it happens I met my 2nd DH's DD on her 10th BD--she was having a sleepover party w/ some girls. I actually went to a party first and went over there later. I didn't want to stay for the whole party. I just stayed a couple of hours and went home. I heard the next day that the girls were asking why I didn't stay over too, but I didn't think that was appropriate since I had just met her. It was probably less of a big deal meeting me in the context of the party where her attention was on her friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2009
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 11:19am

How cool that you had a similar situation!

No, he's not having a party. He had his party yesterday, I guess. Well, it wasn't really a party per se. Just a small group of family over and they had a nice dinner, etc.

I had asked about meeting his son before, and had asked opinions on bringing a gift. Since he's 12, I was afraid it would create expectation in him to always expect a gift, or that it would come off as me "buying" him off. Then it just ended up that the first time I'll meet him just so happens to be his birthday. Wasn't planned that way, it just happened to work out. I was wondering how others would view that, if it's inappropriate, or not, etc.

I did ask his dad/my BF about it, and he said it was up to me. That while it certainly is NOT expected, if I want to, he's fine with it. And he said his son would LOVE the cards. I figure, they sit here at my house unused and someone may as well use them! I sometimes give them to my cousins, but I've got quite a few piled up and since I"ll be meeting his son tonight (gulp...can you tell I'm just a tad nervous?!) and it's his bday, I figured I could give him a couple cards to acknowledge his birthday. :)

Thanks everyone for you replies. Wish me luck...please! Tonight is the night! *crosses fingers*

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:22pm
Is this the same guy you were posting about the communication problems?