GIVING Strange Vibes?
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| Sun, 10-30-2005 - 8:54am |
I started online dating over the summer and since then I've been out on about 15 FIRST dates. Out of those 15 first dates only a couple times have I been asked out again. I've heard that online dating is a numbers game so I thought maybe that was my problem but the same thing happened when my friend fixed me up on a date and when I met a guy on my own and we exchanged numbers.
When I told this to a friend and told her I was confused she said that maybe I was putting out some weird vibe that my dates were picking up. Like, maybe I was sending out verbal or nonverbal "I don't really like you" vibes. I have no idea what I could be doing because it seems like both my date and myself are having a good time and usually there is talk of seeing each other again. Then, I go home, thinking the guy will contact me again and he never does. I'm told I'm attractive, I think I'm outgoing and relaxed, enough......I just don't get it.
Can someone please offer me some advice on this situation?

I guess I can relate to this.
A friend of mine (male) had told me that when he first met me I came off as a stuck up snob. A girlfriend confirmed it. I was new in the area and was so preoccupied and sometimes I go into my "own little world". They had observed that about me and I appreciate it that they pointed it out to me.
And this is what I tell someone prior to meeting. I don't intend to come off that way I am just shy until I get to know someone and there are times my mind wanders off.
I had told the last guy this so he was aware. He later told me that I came off detached, cold and kinda 'pissed off'. But he remembered what I had told him and on the 2nd date I was a bit more relaxed.
Can you ask your friends what they first thought of you when they first met you? Can you ask one of the guys that you did meet if there was something different about you that maybe you don't realize, but they picked up?
And, also, there could be that the guys picked up the vibe that you're not a "goodtime girl" and chose to keep looking.
I've heard this as well...that for different reasons, (afraid of rejection, not as ready to date as you thought) people give off vibes that they're unaware of.
It's hard to know what you're unaware of...I would also ask friends. However, take all advice with a grain of salt, as it could open you up to getting some criticism which may or may not be warranted.