Golden Rule between Girlfriends

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Golden Rule between Girlfriends
8
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:12pm

Okay Ladies, is it a Golden Rule, that when a man calls you for a date (be it last minute, or on a day where you have something planned with a friend) that it is understood between your girlfriends, that cancelling is acceptable?? Yes, my gfs will call and say "sorry, so and so called" and I'll get annoyed and their response is "girl, you know it's the Golden Rule." Ironically, there have been instances where the guy doesn't even show up or shows up later in the evening!!

Geez, I hate when women make themselves so available in a relationship. I had one friend tell me, "well it's a new relationship, I need to give him all my time!" Ugh!!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:43pm

I think I already responded to you on this...someone who did that to me more than once or twice would not be a friend of mine for very long, that's for sure.

I've been fortunate, I guess...my friends aren't like this. As I think I said before, of course there might be exceptions...a last minute invite to an awesome concert, for example...but that's definitely the exception not the rule.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:50pm
How sad. No, this is not a "rule" in my circle of friends and we would not remain friends long if it were. What an awful way to treat your friends, as if they are just filler for when you don't have a date. These women are going to end up driving men away with their clinginess/lack of a social life and driving their friends away by treating them so poorly. If a man calls me for a date and I already have plans, I tell him that I have plans and suggest an alternate day. It's not rocket science! I would only cancel on a friend for a guy is if there were an emergency.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:17pm

Yes, it is a Golden Rule. It's the Golden Rule of how to lose a friend pretty quickly. Personally, I would reconsider the friendships. To me, what is acceptable in business is acceptable with relationships. Would I tell client A that client B called therefore we have to cancel? No. Because I have more respect for them than that.


I'll tell ya... some of us chiks are something else. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:27pm
Holy cow, no!!!! If I have made plans with my friends, they are first and foremost. I don't care if it's a guy I am completely and totally head over heels in love with, a second date or a long-term boyfriend. My friends have been there for me for years before this guy and will be there for years after if it doesn't work out with him. I would never, ever treat my friends with so little respect and consideration for some guy. When "friends" have done that to me, I am highly offended. If it happens more than a couple times, I seriously consider ending the friendship or at least putting it on a different level - much more superficial. If I and our friendship are not important enough to THEM, why should it be to me?

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:29pm

Not with my friends and me.

I do not cancel previously made plans for anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:49pm

That's an unclassy thing to do to a friend. I had a gal pal years ago that would do that to me. Hence, we are friends no longer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:44pm
What Vexer said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 9:45am
My golden rule is not to cancel plans with a girlfriend if a guy wants to go out with me on the same night. I think that the golden rule is to observe proper etiquette even when you might rather spend time with the guy than with the friend. But, if the plans were previously made, I don't think you should cancel on your friend. That also shows the guy that you are a person of your word and won't cancel on him in order to make other social plans either. So, it works both ways. I will say that I think it's fine to make every attempt to cement plans with a guy you are interested in before you try to make plans with a girlfriend, but if the plans with the friend are already made, then it's not right to break them in order to go out with the guy.