Gonna get worse before it gets better

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Gonna get worse before it gets better
13
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 9:41am

I have done so well. No initiating contact, no phone call and no text messages. Even over the weekend I thought about him a few times but had no desire to contact him in any way. He knows though and that scares me a bit because he is really battling to save his job and I don't want him to have to be inconvenienced by my distance. Okay so you are all thinking oh well it's his problem but he's my friend and I want him to succeed. He visited my desk on Friday and was hilariously funny and we laughed about his new desire to cook and his favorite X-box game. He again came over to my area yesterday and was witty and funny with his ex-co-workers. (He use to work in my area long before I came there). He hadn't visited them in a long while and it was nice to see him laugh again with his "homies"..I think I spelled it right...that's what he calls them. He flirted with me along the way too. I use the word flirt because he said little to me but made that strong eye contact that we hadn't done in a while.

I think I am most confused on how to handle him post contact. Can someone please shed some light on how unfair it will be for me to ignore him?? I am cordial to him when I see him and make no indication that I want to be left alone. If he wasn't having so much troubles at work I would talk to him in regards to all of this. I just don't think he needs the burden right now. He is going to try to pull me back in naturally and I can see the trend starting. And I know eventually we will just be co-workers again (If he keeps on pushing himself like he is now!!) and it will be fine. But in the meantime this is very difficult but I know it's the right thing for me to do.

Any thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated. I promise all of you I will NEVER involve my heart with another person I work with again!!!!!!!!!

F

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 6:06pm
F...I think you are micromanaging a relationship that isn't worth 10% of the time you are giving it. He sounds like a fun person to hang out with, but not worthy of this much of your emotional energy. You are on the right track, please continue to find ways to distance yourself!
sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 11-19-2006 - 7:55am

Hiya Fluffy...


Help me out here, is this the same guy who was rude/mean to you a few days/weeks back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 8:50am

Sorry... But I don't see anything in Julia's post that was hostile or aggressive - I think she's right on the money and you just didn't like being called on it.

Just calling it as I see it.

Coolas

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