Gotta have a sense of humor!...m
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:58pm |
Hi Gang,
Okay, so I had to test the waters. As some of you know, I have known since before I ever separated from my husband that I had to lose some signifcant weight that I have gained over the last few years. I have started, but it will take a while. Doesn't magically disappear over night. And, as you also may know, I had my eye on one guy that I had a telephone relationship with for a while...but he knew I was still *unavailable* and we did not meet....I stopped the phone relationship and told him I would call when I was ready. Well, I have been sort of biting at the bit to find out just how bad I am. I mean, I know there are some guys who like a little weight on a woman....and I am lonely. So, I finally got up some nerve today and wanted to test the waters. I picked a guy that is older by several years and *not* that attractive at all...just to see what his response would be to an honest, recent (as good as it gets with me being pretty chubby) pic of mine. Well, now I know what I have to do! This guy has opened my emails at least half an hour prior and *still* no response! He does not like the pic! Imagine? Boy, OLD is tough. It's a good thing I have tough skin. LOL. I know I have to lose a lot more weight now. It was a litmus test, and I am sort of glad I did it! I mean, I would have chatted with the guy. I would have met him. He wasn't *bad*. Wow....what a reality check. I doubt he will even email me back going by this silence so far! LOL (By the way...I showed no pic on my profile and when I contacted him he asked for one right away. I expected that.) I know...I am bad.
Edited 9/21/2005 10:00 pm ET ET by saralm

Pages
Girl... don't even! Yes, it's fine to want to lose weight but hell... if someone rejects you for that, then so be it... NEXT. There are plenty of men who like women with a little bit of "meat" on them! :o)
yes in OLD there is a great double standard......men can be 20-30+ pounds overweight and call themselves "average" and I think they really believe it is true!
also have you ever noticed that if a man doesnt have a pic posted then 7 out of 10 times he has put athletic or toned for the body type Riggghhhttt.
Oh, I think it's certainly possible that those guys without pics are athletic and toned...but they are also most likely *married*!
Sheri
I am still laughing about it this morning! I keep picturing that picture with the dumbo ears and the mouth moving say, "Oh, she's way too fat for me." LOL! But I tend to agree about the ones that have no pic that say toned as probably being married. I think you hit the nail on the head.
OLD is a weird place where (sorry to sound chauvinistic)most men think all women should be models waiting for their enjoyment! HA! When I lose the rest of the weight, I do not think I am going to feel bad about the times I have to ignore or turn people down at all! These people, older ones, not so attractive ones, makes no difference,- it seems have superiority complexes to begin with! I know, forgive me, I am generalizing. :)
Sara
Please don't gauge your weight loss by the men on OLD. I don't think you are, but you can still be in "great shape" (whatever that is) and still not get a response from an OLD guy. Also, there are plenty men on OLD who like big women (but shapely - that's important). I also realized that even the "average or not so good looking" men will not respond, because they are wondering "gee, why is she interested in me!" (smile)
On a personal side, I too am "thick" and at times, I let myself go (yep, still is a struggle to maintain exercise) and gain weight. Unfortunately for me, gaining weight appears around the middle so I'm not as shapely with a huge gut!! LOL Of course, there are clothes to camoflauge, but it's during those times that I don't feel like my best, and as such will not date until I feel more comforatable. Just had this conversation several months ago with friends about "girl, you look fine and if no man don't want you cause of your weight, well forget him, blah, blah, blah." That's really not the point. The point is if I'm not feeling good about myself because of my weight, I don't expect a man nor seek a man's approval about my weight. Yes, I have plenty other good attributes, but I like feeling at my best especially during the dating scene -- and feeling at my best does wonders for my self-esteem. Regardless, I've taken heed to their advice and I mean noone likes rejection, but when you are in a place where you don't feel good about yourself, that rejection is more intense. Of course, it could be for other reasons (other than weight) but it doesn't matter.
Regardless pick men you are attracted to, and based upon the odds of OLD, you sent one guy a message and he didn't respond; that's pretty basic for all women of different shapes and sizes. If you are testing the waters (not based on weight) send plenty emails -- you know it's a number's game! (smile)
Good luck with your weight loss and getting back into the swing of OLD.
Thanks a lot for that, Steph. Yeah, I hear all that you are saying. It really is mostly about how I feel about myself. I just looked up all the definitions of "thick" the other day. LOL! :) Yeah, I fit that...smaller waist, shapely...and bigger mostly in the thighs, in my case. However, I do like some of those men that like average-size girls, and I seem to feel at my best smaller than I am now. Not thin though. Thin is just something I *don't* do! LOL. I am fit right now for sure....been brisk walking every day, twice a day for 6+ weeks. :) What you say makes a lot of sense. I am not let down by this one guy and was kind of expecting it. I know what I have to do. When I am ready, I will contact several guys and have some fun with it. You never know what is in their heads, that is for sure! LOL
Sara
Pages